Chances Taken
by Random1377
Summary: The third book in my ShinjiMaya story, Should a Chance be Taken. Part 7 online. complete
1. Revival  Downspin

Disclaimer: short and sweet – I do not own the rights to Evangelion, Studio Gainax animation does. Should they (or any of their affiliates) request it, I will remove all traces of this story from the web rather than face legal action from them. Without further ado, I present Chances Taken, book 3 of my Shinji and Maya fiction. Enjoy.

Chances Taken

Part 1

Revival/Downspin

By Random1377

Spark… awareness… warmth. Crimson eyes open slowly, their owner peering into the murky fluid all around. She breathes… vague memories trying to surface, "Where am I?" she whispers.

Other… outside… presence. "You are in the tanks, Rei…"

A woman with blonde hair addresses her. She knows this woman… and her ill-concealed distaste.

"What is the last thing you remember?"

She remembers… dark blue eyes… soft lips… tears…

These are things she is not supposed to remember, so she answers as she knows she should, "I remember the last memory storage session, Doctor Akagi."

As the blonde woman nods, Rei stares at the floor, struggling to gather more of those sweet, impossible memories.

She remembers his smile. She remembers his laugh. She remembers his sadness. She remembers that he cannot be hers…

"Why are you smiling?" the blonde woman asks.

"I am… glad to be alive," she replies. –Yes… though he cannot be mine, I AM glad to be alive…- she thinks, stepping from the tank, -for if he should ever change his mind, I must be close at hand.-

Ritsuko leads the third incarnation of Rei Ayanami from the clone tanks, not truly caring why the blue-haired girl is smiling… for tonight, or tomorrow at the latest, the mighty First Child will be made the same as everyone else on God's Earth.

-Then we'll see…- she thinks bitterly, -we'll see how much he values you when you can't be replaced at the drop of a hat!-

Rei continues smiling until they reach the door – entirely oblivious to the depth of the hate radiating from the woman at her side…

**

"Maya?" Makoto Hyouga said as he came onto the deck, "Why are you here? I thought you had the day off?"

"There's a slight… situation," Maya Ibuki said hesitantly, looking up at him.

"What is it?" he replied.

"Asuka still refuses to get out of the plug…" she replied, returning her eyes to the screen, "and Shinji won't leave her."

Makoto frowned. "Can't you just… force-eject the plug and drag her out? And isn't Shinji… ummm… with you?"

Maya sighed, "They're not having sex in there, Makoto… he's just being a good friend. As for ejecting the plug, Sempai thinks that would have a negative impact on her – and since she's already IN the plug, WITH Shinji… an angel attack could be easily countered."

"I see…" he nodded. –She seems… different since they started going out,- he thought, -more self-assured. Then again, so's he.- He considered this as he studied her profile, thinking that – in spite of his initial assessment – perhaps the difference in age and rank really wasn't that important.

The idea made him more jealous than he would have thought, and he decided that maybe, just maybe, he might be able to ask the woman he loved if she could see him that way.

**

In the plug, Shinji was engaged in one of the oddest fights he'd ever had.

Asuka had said very little since the incident, adamantly refusing to open the hatch by emphatically shaking her head and pulling on his arm when he reached for the latch… so Shinji simply stopped trying and held her close to him, whispering softly.

"You don't know that she got killed…" he said for the fourth time, "it's only been a few hours, maybe they didn't want to tell us she's alive because she's hurt… or something…"

"Seven…" Asuka whispered, "it's been seven hours… she's dead…"

Shinji sighed, stroking her long, red hair gently. "Even… even if she is," he said softly, "you didn't do it. It was the dummy plug."

"Don't give me that…" she retorted miserably, burying her face in his chest, "I was in the pilot's seat… I couldn't kill the angel… it's my fault – I'm the one who failed!"

He fell silent, knowing it was a losing argument. –So unlike her,- he thought sadly, -to be like this. Three days ago, I wouldn't have believed that she would feel responsible…-

Shinji's thoughts were interrupted as his father's image appeared on the viewscreen.

"Pilot Souryu," Gendou began calmly, "you have been ordered to exit Unit 02… eject your plug immediately."

Asuka took a deep breath and turned to face the Commander, lacing her right hand with Shinji's and gripping it tightly. "I… can't pilot anymore, sir…" she began, surprising Shinji with her calm, collected, determined tone, "I was just… saying goodbye to-"

"You can… and you will," Gendou cut her off smoothly, "piloting an EVA is not a hobby you can simply let go of. The human race depends on it."

"But… I killed another pilot!" Asuka replied, trying to keep her voice level, "Rei's-"

"Alive."

That one word stopped Asuka's diatribe cold.

"She is?" Shinji said, hardly believing it. He had told Asuka not to give up hope – but he had also seen Unit 00, carved into small pieces by Unit 02, and his words of comfort had been anything but honest.

Gendou folded his hands in front of his face. "Doctor Akagi felt it would be unwise to raise your hopes, as Rei was hurt rather badly in the fight," Shinji blinked as his father explained the situation using almost the same words he had a few minutes prior, "she is recovering, and should be ready for active duty in less than three weeks."

His voice grew cold, "Now exit Unit 02, or you will be forcibly removed. You are valuable, pilot Souryu… not irreplaceable."

Asuka said nothing, but she nodded and triggered the eject sequence.

Shinji watched her as she moved, wondering what he could say to ease her doubts… but as the plug spun out, he decided that nothing he could say could help.

He sighed, thinking of Maya and how she must see all of this. –I hope she's not mad,- he thought.

And she wasn't… though she did have something she needed to say to him.

**

"But… I just moved in!" Shinji said in disbelief.

"Well, you still haven't moved your things in," Maya replied, her tone apologetic, "and I really think you should stay with Misato."

"Why?" he asked, wiping an errant strand of LCL caked hair from his forehead, "I thought you wanted me to be with you."

Maya sighed, choosing her words carefully. "I do…" she said softly, "I just think… maybe we went a little too fast. I mean, it's only been a few weeks."

He considered this, biting his lip thoughtfully. "This is about Asuka, isn't it?" he asked suddenly, remembering the redhead's fierce hug as she had left with Misato (he had waited to take a shower until he knew she was ok).

She shook her head… then nodded. "Well, yes and no…" she said, "yes because I think she needs you to be close to her right now, no because I believe that it's not the right time yet."

He shrugged uncomfortably, "Do you think… what we did yesterday… I mean…"

She reached out and touched his cheek, "No, honey," she said soothingly, "I don't think that was a mistake – but I do think us staying together would be… right now."

"Guess we don't have to tell Misato now, huh?" he asked softly.

"Hey," she said, "please don't be mad. I still love you."

He straightened, "I know… I love you too, I just… nevermind…"

She sighed as he turned and headed for the showers (she had caught him in the hall, not wanting to wait to tell him of her decision), -Let him go,- she thought, -he'll be ok… it's just been a hard day.-

Much to her relief, Shinji stopped as he reached the locker room entrance, turning and offering her a wan smile. "We did kinda jump in pretty fast… didn't we?" he said quietly.

She returned his smile, "Yeah… but I don't regret it, Shinji… I just think we should slow things down a bit now… you know?" She grinned and winked at him, "If we do it all now, what's to look forward to?"

He laughed weakly, "I guess so… I just…"

"I know," she said soothingly, "and I'm sorry."

He nodded, opening the door. "Don't be…" he said, "it's not like I'll never see you again."

"It damn well better _not_ be like that!" she retorted with a grin, folding her arms over her chest, "I'm not letting you go, Shinji… I've fought too hard – you're mine."

He smiled softly, "I'll see you later."

"Twenty minutes," she corrected him, "you'll see me in twenty minutes, at my car – I'm not going to make you walk home, you know!"

He blinked at the force of her words, and his smile widened a bit, "Ok… I'll see you in twenty minutes."

After saying their good-byes, Maya leaned back against the wall, her mind running lazy circles. –At least he understood,- she thought, -and really… we did get carried away…-

She pushed away from the wall and headed for the parking lot, "Besides," she reasoned, flushing slightly, "makes things more… interesting if we're not ALWAYS together."

She sighed as she reached her car, "And we have all the time in the world for the rest…"

Of all of the things she'd said that afternoon, this would prove to be the only one that was wrong…

**

Asuka lay once more on Shinji's bed, holding the SDAT in her hand and staring at the ceiling.

"He's coming home…" she whispered, "I don't have to be alone anymore…"

Though the thought should have pleased her, she still felt hollow.

"I failed…" she said softly, "I couldn't fight…"

Rolling onto her side, she sighed… wondering if she would be able to tell Shinji how her sync-rate had been sliding steadily lower and lower since the fourteenth angel.

She had wondered briefly if she would be able to sync with Unit 02 at all when the angel had attacked.

"At least it worked… this time…" she mused, "but next time?"

She closed her eyes, waiting for the brown-haired boy to return.

-He doesn't need to know,- she thought suddenly, -it'll just worry him. When he gets home… I'll just act like nothing happened. I mean… Wondergirl's alive, right?-

Deciding finally on a course of action, Asuka closed her eyes.

She was so deeply asleep by the time Shinji slipped quietly into the room that she didn't even notice his entry.

"I'm glad you're ok," Shinji whispered, carefully removing the ear-buds and turning the tape player off with a soft smile, "I'll just sleep on the couch."

Asuka stirred in her sleep, rolling onto her stomach and mumbling something that Shinji could not hear.

Carefully, he covered the redhead with an extra blanket from the foot of the bed, kissing her gently on the top of the head before stealing out to the living room… never noticing the damp spot on the bed where the sleeping girl's tears had fallen.

**

In the quiet of the NERV hospital, Gendou sat considering the blue-haired girl that was asleep in the bed.

He had been surprised at the insistence of the Second to be allowed to see First, but he had remained adamant. Something was… off with this clone. Nothing he could put his finger on, but she seemed just slightly too alive.

An odd thought, he knew, but one he could not quite shake.

Quietly, he picked up his cell phone, dialing a brief sequence.

"Fuyutsuki… it's me." he said softly as the person on the other end answered, "Prepare the Fifth… the Second is becoming unstable."

He listened for a moment, "Yes… I know about Katsuragi. See that the proper… safeguards are in place. No… I don't want her removed unless absolutely necessary, but make sure she knows her movements are _not_ unnoticed."

As he hung up, he considered the tenacity of the people under his command… and smiled.

"It is unfortunate that you are so determined, Katsuragi," he mumbled, rising to leave, "you should have learned from your lover's mistakes, rather than repeating them…"

-Nothing to be done about it now,- he thought as he headed for the hospital exit, -but it would be rather difficult to find a suitable replacement before the final messenger… hopefully it will not come to that – good help is hard to find.-

He allowed himself a small smile… and leaving the hospital, turned not for home, but rather for the apartment of a certain doctor that he knew

"The night is young," he whispered to himself, "no reason to waste it…"

As he walked, he allowed his smile to widen… for, as far as he was concerned, all was right with the world.

Continued…

Author's notes: trying… to… get… back… in character… attempting… to… curb… sugar-levels… arrrgghhh!!! Ok, here is the first chapter of Chances Taken… several months overdue and just a touch under 7 pages… but the ball IS rolling – so hopefully chapters will come a little more regularly. This will be the last book of this series, and will consist of seven chapters (and maybe an epilogue… kinda depends on how long the remaining chapters end up being). I'm trying really hard to tone down the sappiness, as that has been the primary complaint with this story – that and OOCness… which I am also trying to correct. On Maya asking Shinji to move out (or rather, to not finish moving in), the reasons are all in the story. It WAS kinda soon, ya know? Granted this is a story, but I do like to have a smidgen of realism appear from time to time. I felt that after she had had some time to think about it (and get past that initial rush of excitement at the idea of being together all the time), Maya would have second thoughts about him moving in so soon – and rightly so… it's a big step. Anyhow, I hope you liked the story. Hold on, I have a few more tricks up my sleeve… and I'll TRY and ease up on the corn. ^_~

Repost note: this story was briefly pulled from fanfiction.net due to some bad reviews I received and, well… being in a bad mood. I'm putting it back up in response to the feedback I've gotten requesting it, and the fact that I realized I was being kinda sorta childish. My apologies.

Thanks to Ryoma and Shinigami for pre-reading this one.

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	2. If I Told You

Disclaimer: see part 1.

Chances Taken

Part 2

"If I Told You…"

By Random1377

"I'm… fired??"

Asuka's eyes were wide with disbelief, but her brow was dangerously low… and her hands had balled into small fists at her sides.

"Not fired," Misato said as calmly as she could, "we just need a backup in case-"

"In case I screw up again, right?" the redhead cut her off angrily, "Well I have news for you, _Major_, I'm not going to quit! So you can get that thought out of your head!"

"Asuka," the Operations Director said levelly, "it's not like we can just _choose_ the Children – the Marduk report-"

"I KNOW HOW IT WORKS!!" the Second Child screamed, "Why is he going to be in MY Unit??"

Misato's temper finally snapped, and everything the psychiatrists had told her about Asuka's condition fled in a nanosecond. "Where would _you_ put him?" she snapped, "Unit 01, that won't take anyone but Shinji? Or Unit 00 – which is carved to _goddamned pieces??_"

The two women stood glaring at each other, their nostrils flaring as they shot daggers at one another with their eyes.

"Ummm…"

"_WHAT??_" they both shouted, rounding on the source of the interruption.

The gray-haired boy smiled placidly. "I was merely going to ask if I might be excused," he said quietly, "I'm rather tired."

Misato flushed. "Sorry about that," she mumbled, pulling out the set of papers she had been given, "It looks like you'll be in the K-4 section of the barracks, I'll show you-"

"That will not be necessary," a voice behind her said quietly.

The purple-haired woman turned to the door, prepared to give whoever had interrupted her the rough side of her tongue… but the reprimand died on her lips as she found, "Commander Ikari…"

"I have new orders for you," Gendou said flatly, ignoring Misato entirely and focusing on the new Child. Smiling faintly, he stepped to the side, revealing a very ill looking Maya Ibuki.

"Ummm… Hi…" the brown-haired woman said uncomfortably.

"What's going on, Commander?" Misato asked, confused, "As Director of Operations-"

"Major," Gendou cut her off smoothly, "calm yourself." He turned to the Fifth Child. "Kaworu Nagisa," he said calmly, "you will be staying with Lieutenant Ibuki from today forward."

An unholy silence stole over the room, the varied reactions amusing the Commander greatly.

Misato's jaw dropped open and she fumbled for something to say… Maya's sick grin remained glue in place, as though she was afraid letting it slip might get her killed… and Asuka… Asuka just stared.

It was Kaworu who broke the silence. "Nice to meet you," he said politely, offering Maya a small bow.

The brown-haired woman swallowed. "N-nice to meet you too…" she stammered.

Misato opened her mouth to ask just what was going on (she had not heard a word about this until now) but before she could speak, Asuka flung herself into the breach. "You inconsiderate bitch!"

"Asuka!" Misato barely had time to gasp the girl's name before the offensive continued.

"_HE_ can stay with you, but Shinji can't?" the redhead raged, ignoring her guardian's attempts to calm her, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

It was Gendou who replied. "Lieutenant Ibuki does not need to explain herself to you, Second Child," he said flatly, "why she has chosen to have the Fifth Child stay with her is none of your concern."

"_You ASKED for him to stay with you??_" Asuka shouted, her entire frame quaking with rage.

Maya looked from Kaworu to Asuka, blushing brightly. "Yes…" she whispered softly, "I did…"

Gendou nodded slightly, a very faint smile on his lips.

Abruptly, Asuka's face became a mask of indifference. "I see," she said coldly, "well then, I guess I'll just be going home." She turned and headed for the door, "I'll walk, Misato," she muttered over her shoulder, "that will give you plenty of time to call Shinji and tell him what's going on…"

As she stepped out, Misato swallowed, looking as if calling the Third Child was the very _last_ thing she wanted to do – which is hardly a surprise, as it WAS the very last thing she wanted to do. This impromptu meeting with the Second and Fifth Children _had_ been last on her list, but she decided that she would rather do this five times again than call Shinji and tell him that his girlfriend had chosen to have another boy live with her.

"Good day," the Commander said abruptly, "I'll leave this to you, Major."

"Right…"

As the dark-haired man also made his exit, Maya slumped slightly. "I guess we should go," she said softly, "do you have any other bags?"

"No," Kaworu replied quietly, "just this one." He looked from the technician to the purple-haired woman, noting that both seemed incredibly displeased… though obviously for different reasons. "Is this… not alright?" he asked softly.

"It's fine," Maya answered tiredly, "it's just… never mind, you don't need to worry about it…"

"Why?" Misato asked suddenly, "Why are you doing this, Maya?"

-I have to!- the brown-haired woman wanted to scream. "I… didn't want him to have to stay in the barracks…" she mumbled, "he's-"

"Save it," the Operations Director cut in, her tone slightly sad, "I'm sure you have your reasons, but please don't insult my intelligence ok?" she sighed, rubbing her temples. "If you'll excuse me," she murmured, "I have to make a call…"

Maya blushed and nodded, motioning for the Fifth Child to follow her. –I hope he can understand,- she thought, her ears picking up the sound of a very familiar number being dialed behind her.

**

Asuka came into the apartment as quietly as she could, slipping off her shoes and heading straight for Shinji's room. As she had expected, the boy was lying on his bed, with one arm over his eyes and his SDAT clutched loosely in his palm. Resisting the temptation to open with something witty, like, 'Mope here often?' or 'Anything good on that SDAT?' she simply crossed over to the bed and nudged him, gesturing for him to make room for her.

As the brown-haired boy complied, scooting over against the wall and offering her an arm to lie on, she smiled. "Am I that predictable?" she whispered, lying down beside him and resting her head against his shoulder while he wrapped his arm around her.

"Just a bit," Shinji admitted, "but that's ok, I guess it's just part of… this…"

What, exactly, 'this' was… Asuka wasn't sure. Since the last angel (and before that, now that she thought about it) she had been spending more and more time in Shinji's room, just lying next to him. She was fairly sure this transcended the bounds of simple friendship, but she was also sure that it wasn't love – at least, not romantic love, as she had no particular desire to do more than just be with him.

"Misato called…" Shinji whispered after a moment, "she told me… about…"

"Shh…" Asuka murmured, closing her eyes and smiling gently, "you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Shinji…"

The brown-haired boy smiled, his fingers absently rubbing her arm. "Thanks…" he said weakly, "I didn't really want to…"

The redhead moved a bit closer, turning so that she was resting with her chin on his chest. "I don't think she's trying to hurt you…" she said softly, meeting his eyes levelly, "while I was walking home, I thought about it… and I think that she was just being nice…"

Shinji sighed. "Yeah," he admitted, "I think you're probably right. I'm sure if I had moved in with her, Misato would have had Kaworu live here…"

"Kaworu?" Asuka said, arching an eyebrow, "You met him, what? Yesterday? By chance… and now you're on a first-name basis with him?"

The Third Child smiled faintly. "He asked me to call him that," he replied, recalling the odd first encounter with the boy on the lookout, "kinda stuck with me."

"Well," the redhead muttered, "don't expect me to start fawning all over him… he seems nice enough, but I'll be damned if he gets into my EVA!"

"I know…" Shinji said soothingly, slowly stroking the girl's hair, "just… don't be _mean_ to him, ok? For me?"

The Second Child sighed, closing her eyes as his fingers gently massaged her scalp. "I'll _try_," she murmured, feeling her body relaxing, "but I'm not guaranteeing anything, Third Child…"

"Fair enough…"

Nothing else was spoken for five minutes, and Shinji thought that Asuka must have fallen asleep, as her breathing had grown deep and even and her body was entirely slack against his. He was just raising his other arm up to cover his eyes when she whispered, "Are you ok, Shinji…? You don't have to talk about how you feel… but at least tell me if you're alright…"

The brown-haired boy considered this in silence, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't really know," he replied finally, "I'm hoping that I'll figure it out when I see her. Half of me wants to be mad at her… but the other half wants to find out _why_…"

Asuka yawned. "Sorry…" she whispered, "long day." Sighing, she nestled closer to him. "Listen to the second half," she advised drowsily, "don't jump to conclusions…"

Shinji blinked, then grinned. "Are you sure?" he teased, "I thought you would be the first to recommend jumping to conclusions."

The redhead smiled. "People… change…" she whispered faintly.

"I guess they do…" Shinji conceded, resisting the temptation to point out that she had changed the most of all… at least, when she was with him. He realized that reminding her that she was an entirely different person when they were alone might upset her, and he truly enjoyed the quiet relationship that had unexpectedly grown between them.

For a long moment, neither of them said anything. Shinji was finally starting to drift off himself, when Asuka whispered softly, "I'm having… trouble, Shinji…"

"Trouble?" he yawned, "In school, or-"

"Never mind," Asuka cut him off quickly, "it's nothing…"

Shinji considered the girl as she lapsed into silence. Smiling softly, he whispered, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Asuka…" His smile collapsed as he felt her trembling against his side. "Hey…" he murmured, "what's-"

"If I said I loved you," the redhead broke in, her tone desperate, "what would you say, Shinji?" Though her eyes were closed, she could tell by the way his breath abruptly halted that he was shocked. "I promised myself," she hurried on, "that I would never fall in love with you – and I'm not, do you understand? I'm not _in_ love, Shinji… but you're not just someone I live with… and you're not just a friend…" She took a shaking breath, "You don't know how hard this is," she whispered, "I can't… I can't keep all of this inside anymore – I feel like I'm going to die! It just keeps getting worse and worse, every single day I have to tell myself that I'm _not _a failure, that I _won't _cry! Shinji, I-"

Her breath caught as she felt a finger lay gently against her lips, silencing her frantic raving before it got entirely out of hand. She felt all of her muscles slowly unwinding as Shinji lightly traced her lips with his fingertip, humming under his breath and pulling her closer to him with the arm still wrapped around her.

"Asuka…"

"Yeah…?"

"Go to sleep. When you wake up… you can tell me everything, ok? But right now… I think you're too tired to think straight."

"Ok…"

She sighed as he stopped touching her lips, moving his hand around to the back of her head and slowly caressing her neck. –He's right,- she thought, slipping her arms around him, -I'm all messed up…- She decided that maybe – just maybe… being messed up might not be so bad, if you had someone to help you through it.

As consciousness slowly slipped away from her, she felt him lean forward and press his lips briefly against her forehead, kissing her tenderly. She smiled, trying to reply as he whispered, 'I love you too, Asuka…' but finding herself unable as his gentle touch and soft words ushered her into a deep, peaceful sleep.

**

"I am… intruding, aren't I?" Kaworu asked as Maya awkwardly showed him around her apartment, "I can go to the barracks, Miss Ibuki… it will not be a problem."

"No, it's ok," the brown-haired woman sighed, "just… when you meet the Third Child, try not to make a big deal out of living here, ok? _That_ would make things difficult…"

"Shinji?" the gray-haired boy said brightly, "I've already met him."

"You have?" Maya wondered, "When?"

"Yesterday," Kaworu answered absently, looking around the living room with avid interest, "though it was only briefly, and I look forward to a more formal introduction tomorrow."

"Well," the brown-haired woman reiterated, "don't make a big deal out of living here, if you can avoid it. Shinji and me…" she blushed slightly, "are involved…"

"Really…" the Fifth Child replied, refocusing his attention entirely on her, "physically?"

Before she could stop herself, Maya nodded. "It's…" she fumbled for words to explain herself, "I know it may seem… inappropriate…" she stammered.

Kaworu shrugged. "Who am I to judge?" he said quietly, "Do you love him?"

The brown-haired woman averted her eyes, nodding slowly. "Yes…" she whispered, "very much."

"Then I see no reason for shame," the boy replied. "Though your ages _are_ very widely spaced," he elaborated, "he is still old enough to choose his own path in life – regardless of what his guardian or father might believe." Maya gaped at the boy as he resumed his inspection of the room. "Thank you for housing me," Kaworu said finally, bowing from the waist, "you are most kind…"

"It's ok," Maya said quickly, "really…"

"I will try not to inconvenience you," the boy said quietly, "I am… to sleep on the couch, correct?"

The technician shook her head, "You can have the bed," she said quietly, "you're a guest, and-"

"I won't allow that," Kaworu interrupted softly, "I am here by your graciousness… I will not dishonor myself by putting you out any further than I have already…"

Maya blushed, averting her gaze from his intense, unwavering red eyes. "Ok…" she mumbled, turning away and heading for her room, "I'll get some blankets for you…"

"Thank you…"

As the woman left, Kaworu sat down on the couch. –Very clever, Commander…- he thought approvingly, -you are suspicious of me, as SEELE sent me directly, so you placed me with your subordinate, believing this will allow you to observe me easier…- A small smile played across his lips as he leaned back, studying the ceiling. "We shall see who is the cleverest…" he whispered, closing his eyes, "it should be a most interesting game…"

When Maya returned several minutes later, she found the boy asleep on the couch, his hands laced behind his head… and a small, pleased smile on his face.

Continued…

Author's notes: I'm trying!! Really trying to finish this!! ^_^ Hmmm… real notes… real notes… ummm… the only thing I can think of is the fact that Kaworu is… nah… I won't spoil it. heh. I had a lot of trouble deciding if Asuka should tell Shinji that she loved him. Ultimately I chose to go with it because, well… it's true. ((shrug)) I also wanted to make sure there would be no repeat of the 'Rei making a move on Shinji' concept from book 2 in this section, so I wanted to remove any vagueness on that point :P

Pre-read on this was done by Ryoma and John M. Brown, soooo… thanks! ^_^

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	3. Solace

Disclaimer: see part 1.

Chances Taken

Part 3

Solace

By Random1377

Maya froze as she opened her door, cocking her head to the side. "Is he… talking to himself?" she murmured, hearing Kaworu's voice coming from the living room. 

Taking her key out of the lock as quietly as she could, she tiptoed down the hallway, straining to hear what he was saying.

"I've always rather liked green," the gray-haired boy was saying, "how about you?"

Maya came up short two feet from the door to the living room as another voice replied, "Well… I kinda like blue, I guess…"

"Shinji…?"

The brown-haired tech opened the door, preparing to offer the boy a joyful greeting, but the blank stare that she received – from both Children – froze the words in her mouth. As her eyes met Shinji's she swallowed, trying to say something – anything… but nothing happened.

Since Kaworu had moved in, she had seen very little of her boyfriend. It seemed that there was always a sync test, or a school test, or a work test – or _some_ kind of test – keeping them separate. If it wasn't that, she was working on a project for Doctor Akagi, or he was visiting Touji in the hospital.

And the thing that got to her most is that she was unsure if it was because he didn't want to see her, or if it was simple, honest, bad timing… but it had been nine days, and the extended separation (as she saw it) was unnerving her.

She was nearing the point of being uncomfortable when Shinji finally blinked, as if recognizing who he was looking at, and walked over to her, giving her an awkward kiss on the cheek. "Hey," he said quietly, blushing as Kaworu's eyes tracked their every move, "missed you…"

"Missed you too," she murmured, sighing as he slipped his hand into hers, "I thought you were going with Kensuke somewhere today?"

"I told him I couldn't make it," Shinji confessed, "I wanted to see you." He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the other Child as he asked, flat out, "Are you mad at me about something?"

"Mad…?" Maya echoed, stunned, "Me?? I thought _you_ were mad!" She laughed happily, "Oh! All this time, I thought you were avoiding me because… because…" she trailed off, her laughter fading as Shinji frowned. "Can I explain?" she asked quietly, glancing towards her bedroom, "Please?"

Shinji nodded, heading towards the door as Maya excused them.

"Take your time," Kaworu said easily, remaining on the couch and closing his eyes, "I'm not in any rush."

"Thanks," the tech said gratefully, "I'm sorry I interrupted your conversation…"

The gray-haired boy waved his hand lazily, dismissing her apology.

Stepping into her room, Maya closed the door, reaching for the light switch on the wall. Since it was after dark, and her room had no windows, it was pitch black. As she found the switch, she felt Shinji's hand cover hers. "Don't…" he whispered softly, "it'll be easier this way…"

Feeling her blood running cold, Maya replied. "Make what easier, Shinji? Are you… breaking up with me?"

There was a long, awful silence before Shinji answered, "No! Why would I do something stupid like that??"

"Well," the young woman said defensively, "you're all serious… and you won't let me turn on the light, and you- mmm…"

She shivered as she felt his lips press carefully against hers. Well, half against hers and half against her cheek. "Sorry…" he boy murmured, "too dark…"

Maya giggled softly. "That's ok, but why can't I turn on the light? I kinda wanted to talk… do we have to do it in the dark?"

"It's stupid," the boy answered awkwardly, "I just… like being in the dark with you…"

Maya felt herself blushing – both at the implication of intimacy and the actuality of it. "We probably shouldn't, ummm…" 

"I know," Shinji answered quickly, "I just… wanted to be close to you in the dark…"

Smiling, the tech replied, "Well, I guess that's ok." She reached out and found his shoulders, pulling him closer to her. "I… wanted to tell you why, though… why I let him stay and not you…"

She couldn't tell him the real reason, of course – she had sworn not to, and the repercussions for breaking that oath would be harsh and swift… but she needed to give him a reason.

He deserved one.

"I only want to know one thing…" Shinji murmured, his voice hesitant, "do you… want to be with him instead, or-"

"Oh come on!" Maya half laughed and half shouted, "I told you I loved you, I risked everything I had to help you when Asuka was in trouble, I _slept_ with you, and I-"

"Ok, ok!!" Shinji said quickly, "I'm sorry… I just…" he sighed, "I just didn't know what to think. I know you have a good reason, and it must be something you can't tell me, or you would have by now… right? Anyway, that was the only thing that I could think of that was _so_ bad that you wouldn't _want_ to tell me…"

She flushed once more, remembering that she was the one with a secret. Very deliberately, she whispered, "I… only… want… to be… with you." She took a deep breath, treading a dangerous edge as she added, "I can't tell you the real reason he's here, Shinji, but please believe that it _is_ a good one, ok? Can you trust me?"

Tensely, she waited for his reply. –I wasn't told _not_ to tell him there was a secret,- she reasoned, -I was only told not to tell him the truth…-

"I trust you…" Shinji said softly, his hand finding hers, "can you tell me someday?"

"Maybe," Maya said, smiling weakly, "I honestly don't know. Hang on…" quietly, she opened the door, peeking out at the couch. "Kaworu's asleep…" she murmured, closing the door once more, "he sleeps kinda light, but if we were quiet… Shinji…"

Feeling her hand against his chest, urging him towards the bed, Shinji nodded. "Ok…"

"Have to be quiet…" the tech whispered, working on unbuttoning his shirt, "really, really quiet…"

Feeling his mouth go dry, the young man barely managed to reply, "Quiet… ok…"

As the two lovers reaffirmed their feelings, trying to stay as quiet as possible, Kaworu lay on the couch… smiling softly as he thought,

-Interesting…-

**

"How is Asuka doing today?" Misato asked, folding her arms as she came to a stop next to her old friend's desk.

"She's holding steady," Ritsuko replied, never looking up from her terminal, "but that's not a good thing. Since the fifteenth angel, her ratio has been slowly dropping – and right now it's barely in the upper teens."

"I see." She sighed, "Well, I guess all we can do is keep trying to encourage her. I don't know what she'll do if we have to replace her…" 

"Oh," Ritsuko shrugged, "I think we have some idea – it involves screaming and violence, and probably some property damage and some big therapy bills."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that, ok?" the purple-haired woman asked tiredly, "What about Rei? How has she been since the last angel?" She frowned as Ritsuko made no immediate reply, and as she opened her mouth to repeat herself, she got her answer.

"She's perfectly normal."

Misato looked from the observation window, where the four test plugs were displayed, to her friend's face, not at all liking the cold, hard edge in her tone. "And the boys?"

Ritsuko shrugged. "Well, Shinji's sync ratio is high, as usual… but Kaworu…"

"Yes?" Misato prompted as she trailed off, "What about him?"

"See for yourself."

Misato studied the readouts as the blonde brought them up, her face displaying confusion. "He can… change it?"

Ritsuko nodded, looking up at the screen showing the serene face of the Fifth Child. –Indeed he can,- she thought darkly, -SEELE was bold this time. Did they expect that we wouldn't figure it out? Or are they hoping we WILL figure it out and advance their plans for them?- She grinned unconsciously as the boy opened his eyes, -Well, I've got a little surprise for them – and her…-

Misato blinked as Ritsuko's eyes went from Kaworu's display to Rei's, narrowing slightly. "Something wrong?" she asked uneasily, still going over the information on the Fifth.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself about," Ritsuko answered softly, pulling her gaze away from the First Child and back to her terminal, "just thinking I should run a few tests on the Fifth – isolated from the others, of course. These readings need to be explained." She stood, stretching her back. "That's enough for today. Asuka, Shinji… Rei," her lip curled up slightly at the last name, "you are free to go. Kaworu."

"Yes ma'am?" came the unhurried reply.

"You will stay for further tests, understood?"

"Of course."

Misato frowned at the entire lack of surprise in the boy's voice, but she did not have time to consider its meaning as Asuka spoke.

"Why is HE staying?" the redhead demanded, "What makes him so special that WE all have to leave? Shinji's sync rate is higher than his, and Wondergirl's is lower," she avoided saying that hers was too, "so why does HE need more tests?"

Ritsuko shook her head, sighing. "Because he's still the newest pilot," she said tersely, "And truly, it's none of your concern WHY, Asuka, just do what you're-"

"The hell it isn't!" Asuka cut in, "You're going to replace me!"

Ritsuko rubbed her eyes.

"No one is getting replaced, Asuka," Misato said calmly, "now come on… you, me and Shinji will go out for lunch."

There was a moment of quiet before Asuka quietly said, "Alright…"

"Very clever," Ritsuko commented as the Second Child exited her plug.

"What?" Misato asked, blushing slightly. She knew full well what she had done, as did everyone in the room – even Asuka, on some level.

"Mention Shinji's name," the blond said softly, looking up at the screen where Kaworu's face was still shown, "and leave out Rei's, and Asuka will do anything you say."

"It's not THAT extreme," Misato protested, "sure, it works for little things like this, but she's still Asuka. It's not like she's a lovesick little puppy, following Shinji around wherever he goes."

"Well, that would be hard," Ritsuko commented dryly, "because I don't think she would fit in Maya's bed."

Misato's jaw dropped open and her eyes immediately sought out the brown-haired tech, who was sitting not five seats away, entering data on her keyboard with a small smile. –Doesn't look like she heard,- she thought, relieved, -but still, that was way uncalled for. And I don't think they've gone QUITE that far, have they?-

As if reading her thoughts, Ritsuko chuckled. "What happened to your sense of humor, Miso?" she asked lightly, "I'm just kidding."

Misato looked at her uncertainly.

"Get going," the blonde said quietly, "you've got Children to feed."

The Operations Director lingered for a moment longer, looking from Maya's happy face to Ritsuko's cold and thoughtful one. "Yeah," she said finally, turning for the door, "I'll see you later."

As she made her exit, though, she took one more look at Maya. –Think maybe you and me should talk,- she thought cautiously, -because I think, maybe, your sempai might planning something – and not something good.-

Had she been able to hear Ritsuko's thoughts at that very moment, her concern would have increased exponentially, as a single word she herself had spoken earlier kept echoing over and over again through the doctor's mind.

Replaced.

**

"Staying for more tests," Asuka grumbled, picking at her oonagi, "and I'm not supposed to think that's suspicious?"

Shinji took a bite of his tempura, chewing it slowly and swallowing before answering, "I don't think you need to worry, Asuka… he seems really nice. And I don't think Doctor Akagi would do something behind your back, I think she'd just say it."

"Oh, I know YOU don't have anything to worry about," the redhead said sarcastically, "you've got the highest sync ratio, and you've got the most kills, and you've got a pretty little girlfriend to-" She broke off, blushing. "Sorry."

Shinji shrugged awkwardly, looking down at his plate. "It's ok," he murmured, "I never really thought about it that way."

"I didn't mean for it to come out that way," Asuka said softly, pushing back at the sudden fear that he would stop talking to her, "I just…"

"I know," Shinji said soothingly as she trailed off, "it's ok, really."

The two fell into silence, each lost in their own thoughts as they resumed eating. Misato had gone back into work, of course, citing that she had much left to do, and had left them with a little extra money in case they were still hungry later. It was not lost on the two Children that their guardian was spending more and more time at NERV, but they both took it in stride, thinking that it was most likely related to Kaji's sudden and unexplained disappearance.

Shinji shook his head as he thought of the ponytailed man, wishing he could ask his advice. –Wonder if he ever worried about losing his girlfriend,- he thought idly as Asuka took a sip of her drink, -probably not – he didn't seem to worry about much.-

Not that he was worried about Maya, or losing her to Kaworu. She had made it very clear two nights prior that he was the only one on her mind.

Well, perhaps he worried just a bit. He was, after all, still in awe of the fact that she was his.

"Want another drink?" he asked, setting his carryout box to the side and getting to his feet.

"Yes please," Asuka replied quietly, setting her food on her lap and looking up at the boy with a small smile, "thanks."

Shinji shrugged awkwardly and assured her that it was no problem, then headed over to the restaurant they had purchased their food from.

As he walked away, Asuka sighed, letting her smile go. –Good lord,- she thought unsteadily, -what would I do if you ever stopped talking to me? You're the only one that still treats me like me.- She bit her bottom lip pensively, troubled by the dark train of thought, but unable to stop it. –Misato thinks I'm losing it, the Commander practically TOLD me I was losing it, Wondergirl is… Wondergirl,- she smiled slightly, amused by the lack of explanation need for that observation, -and the new kid-

"Asuka."

The redhead barely managed to contain a scream of surprise as a soft voice spoke her name. Raising her eyes, she stared in disbelief as the very person she was thinking of stood less than three feet in front of her. "What do you want?" she asked defensively, trying to cover her shock with anger – anger that was completely unfeigned, "And don't use my first name… I don't know you."

"Just happened to be passing by," the gray-haired boy said easily, offering her a pleasant smile, "and I saw you and Shinji sitting here, so I thought I would say hi."

"Don't you have tests or something?" Asuka asked caustically, "I thought they were keeping you?"

Kaworu shrugged. "Doctor Akagi simply wanted to run one more sync test and discuss the results." He smiled a bit wider, "It was most… interesting, to talk to her."

"Good for you," Asuka muttered, rolling her eyes, "but don't go getting comfy, Fifth Child, I'm not planning to go anywhere – and neither is Shinji."

"No," Kaworu replied, his expression conveying amusement, "I think he's comfortable right where he is – especially when he's in Miss Ibuki's company." He shook his head, as if lamenting, and added, "And they are also quite loud when they make love – I found it most distracting when they… what?"

Asuka was gaping at the boy, her face a brilliant shade of crimson. "That… that's sick!" she finally managed, "Listening to them when they… when they – that's SICK!"

She tried desperately to suppress the image of Shinji and Maya together, but the more she fought it, the more vivid it became.

"I didn't listen on purpose," Kaworu said with a smile, "I was simply trying to sleep, and in their defense, I think they were TRYING not to wake me, but I would imagine it's kind of hard – for them, anyway."

"Stop," Asuka whispered, "you shouldn't talk about it – even if you did hear them doing… that."

"Why not?" the boy asked innocently.

A confusion of feelings was rushing through the redhead, making coherent thought almost impossible. She could feel the anger she held towards the boy she saw as her replacement as well as shame at hearing of Shinji and Maya's most private affairs spoken of so plainly. But the dominant feeling, the one she had felt all too frequently lately, was that SHE had done something wrong.

Even though she knew this was not true, she found herself imagining that she had somehow failed to stop the gray-haired boy from so casually revealing the most intimate, personal detail of her roommate's life. –I shouldn't know about that,- she thought desperately, trying to find the words to explain just WHY it was so taboo, -God… how many times? How many places? How loud- 

"AHHH!!!"

"Hmmm," Kaworu hummed, smiling broadly as the girl put her hands on either side of her head, "I'm sorry if I upset you." He looked up over Asuka's head. "Looks like Shinji's on his way back," he said lightly, "but I'm afraid I have to get back to my guardian's house. Tell him I said hi, alright? Bye now."

Asuka shook herself, looking up to call him back, but he had already vanished into the milling afternoon crowd. "You shouldn't talk about it because it's just for them," she whispered to herself, still flushed at the very thought of it all. "It's the way they show how much they love each other, it's their…" she struggled for the word she knew would fit, but could not bring it to mind.

"What's up?" Shinji asked, looking to where Asuka was staring as he offered her a bottle of soda, "Something wrong? You look worried."

"No," Asuka answered after a moment, choosing to keep her discussion with the red-eyed boy a secret as she absently took the drink, "just thinking that a nap would be kinda nice." She looked up into the placid blue eyes of the only person alive that understood her. "Wanna join me? You can share my pillow."

Shinji smiled, shrugging slightly. "Sure," he answered softly, "but for Heaven's sake, don't tell Maya that we're sleeping together!"

Asuka gave him a halfhearted chuckle, knowing he would want to know why if she didn't laugh. –Damn poor choice of words,- she thought, still feeling embarrassed as she rose to her feet, -but I won't say anything. Just pretend I don't know… yeah, that seems like the best way to go.-

Brushing off her shorts, the redhead closed her eyes for a moment, finally thinking of the word that fit best – and knowing that it applied to her as well.

Solace.

-So,- she thought as they started out, -they take comfort in each other, and I take comfort in him… my therapist would be so proud of me for working that out all by myself.- She almost laughed at the thought, but it just seemed too accurate to be amusing. So they walked in silence.

As they made their way towards the train station, they never noticed the crimson eyes that watched them from the shadows of a nearby alleyway. "VERY interesting," Kaworu murmured, "I was certain she would tell him of my knowing – simply to encourage him to dislike me." He smiled happily. "This is indeed a very interesting game…"

He watched them until they were lost in the crowd, then made good on his promise to seek out his guardian, wondering how she would react if she knew he had heard them, then discarding the notion. He decided that her reaction would be similar to the Second Child's, though more apologetic in tone.

Very boring.

He had seen many different human reactions – varying form ecstasy to agony – and though he was enjoying this current, idle amusement, he was growing a touch tired of the whole game. He did not feel bound by the timetable of the ones that sent him, and had barely listened to their carefully laid out instructions. He knew where his father slept, and he would end the game when he felt it was time… but before that, he wanted to see more of the one named Shinji. So far, he was unlike anyone he had dealt with before, and he was dreadfully curious… so, for a while longer, the game would continue.

"Yes," he said happily, "I think you are the most interesting of all, Shinji." He smiled radiantly, making a passing lady of twenty-nine blush and reconsider her wedding vows. "I think," he mused, pausing to wait for a red light to change, "that I may have been born just to meet you…"

He contemplated this thought for a moment, as well as considering what type of reaction he would feel inclined to draw the following day. 

As the light turned green, allowing the pedestrians to continue on their way, he thought that he might just have an idea.

Continued…

Author's notes: wowie… how long has it been since I wrote a chapter?? Too long, I know, but hopefully releasing this and the lemon side story at the same time will SORTA make up for that. Sorta? _ Anyway, hope you liked this installment!

Thanks to Ryoma for pre-reading… even if he thinks that Asuka is the only girl for Shinji. :P

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	4. Kaworu's Maturation Theorem

Disclaimer: see part 1.

Chances Taken

Part 4

Kaworu's Maturation Theorem

By Random1377

Asuka lay in perfect silence, controlling her breathing so as not to disturb her bedmate. She stared up at the ceiling, her expression alternating from simple contentment to mild agitation, though the surface was a mere shadow of her inner turmoil.

-Another two points,- she thought as her concern once more surfaced, -seven more and I won't even be able to raise Unit 02's arm…-

She turned her head to consider Shinji's face, allowing herself a smile of relief. He had not backed away – even when she screamed at Doctor Akagi that her sliding sync ratio was due to a fault in Unit 02's program. After being sent, in disgrace, from the EVA cages, Shinji had come to her, trying to tell her not to worry.

"And I pushed," she whispered, carefully shifting on the bed until she was as close to him as she could be, "I pushed like I've never pushed before… trying to MAKE you leave me alone – but you wouldn't do that, would you? You never leave me when I need you."

Shinji shivered slightly in his sleep and rolled onto his side, facing away from her and pulling the blanket on her bed up around his shoulders.

Asuka waited for a moment until he stilled, then slowly slid her arms around his chest, pressing herself against his back. "Don't pretend you're asleep," she whispered, her voice shaking, "you may have changed, Shinji, but I know you better than anyone – even Maya. You're scared of seeing me like this, right?" She waited for a moment as his chest continued to expand and contract slowly, "Please talk to me," she murmured softly, "I need you…"

The room was filled with silence for several moments, broken finally when Shinji whispered, "Yeah, it scares me." Though he was facing the wall, she could hear the frown in the tone of his voice. "It's ok," he said quietly, putting his hands over hers as he felt her shaking, "I'm not going to jump up and leave or anything, it's just… kind of weird."

"Weird?" Asuka asked, slightly confused, "What's weird about it?"

She waited again as he formed his thoughts, gently stroking the back of her hand. "It's weird," he said softly, "to know you're so strong, and that you can do anything you want to do… and then watch you give up."

The redhead's mouth gaped open, and the feeling of betrayal that surged in her chest was immediate and hot. "I haven't given up on anything!" she shouted, trying to pull back from him, "How can you say that to me!? When I'm the one who's getting replaced, and I'm the one-"

"Don't do that," Shinji cut in quietly, holding onto her hands and awkwardly twisting around until he was facing her, "you said you knew me? Well, I know you, too, you know."

Asuka's struggles ceased as she stared into his dark blue eyes, and a sudden trill of fear worked through her spine as he frowned.

"Don't pretend," Shinji said firmly, making sure she heard every word, "that you're so persecuted." He frowned deeper as she averted her eyes, a look of sullen frustration on her face.

"I never said that," she whispered, trying to be angry at him, "I was trying to say thanks for staying by me, you big jerk!"

"No," Shinji corrected gently, putting his hand under her chin and bringing her eyes back up to meet his, "you did that already – lots of times. What you were doing just now is trying to get me to tell you everything's alright… but you know something? It's not, Asuka… it's really not." He sighed as she swallowed. "Look," he whispered, his tone softening, "I know it's been hard for you since Kaworu's gotten here, but come on… are you going to let that stop you?"

"I don't have a choice!" Asuka shot back fiercely, "I'm one step away from losing my Unit to him!"

Shinji nodded gravely, never breaking eye contact as he told her, "You're one step away… but you're the one walking, Asuka." He nodded again as her eyes widened. "Since Misato took us out for lunch, I've been watching everyone around you," he confessed quietly, "and I've been watching you, trying to see if I could figure out WHY your sync ratio has been going down, since Doctor Akagi didn't seem to care too much about it."

"And what did you see?" Asuka asked him, her voice shaking with fear and anger, "What did you see that Doctor Akagi, Misato, my psychiatrist, and my friends don't? Huh?"

Shinji sighed deeply, knowing the reaction his answer would get. "You know what I saw?" he asked softly, bracing himself mentally, "I saw a weak, scared little girl, letting her fears and insecurities rule over her li-"

It wasn't a terribly strong slap, as they were very close to one another, physically speaking, but Asuka still managed to connect with a good deal of force. "You bastard," she snarled, trying again to get free of his confining arms, "you were planning this all along, weren't you? Getting close to me, pretending you cared – all so you could make me feel like shi-"

Her tirade ended in confused silence as Shinji gently placed his forefinger over her lips, shushing her softly and pulling her closer to him. He waited until she stopped squirming before speaking again. "Yeah," he said quietly, "I planned to have you replaced, Asuka. I made sure they found the Fifth Child, sabotaged Unit 02, and pretended to be your friend for weeks on end JUST so I could see you cry."

"I'm not… crying…"

Shinji gently pressed his finger against her cheek, pulling it back and showing her the dampness on it. "You said you need me," he reminded her as she stared at her own tears, "and I'm here." His voice was serious as her eyes refocused on his. "And you're right, I wouldn't ever let you push me away – you mean too much. But I also won't let you lie to yourself anymore." He lowered his voice and put his face right in front of hers. "Your sync ratio is low because you're feeling sorry for yourself," he told her flatly, "you see a failure when you look in the mirror, so that's how you're living your life, am I right? Believe me, Asuka… I know how it feels to hate yourself…"

She considered his face for a moment, then pressed herself as close to him as she could, resting her head against his chest. "I hate you," she breathed, "right this minute, Shinji… I hate you so much I could just kill you." She sighed and closed her eyes as his soft lips pressed against the top of her head.

"Yeah," Shinji answered, smiling softly, "I hate you too."

Neither said anything for a few minutes, then Asuka asked, "Am I really that bad, Shinji? I mean – really?" She growled in frustration as he nodded.

"Yeah," he said lightly, "you're pretty bad… but that's ok with me – I just want to see you happy, and if that means having you hate me, well I'm willing to pay that price."

"Yeah," Asuka grumbled, "besides, you can always go over to Maya's and grin like an idiot."

"I don't do that!" Shinji protested.

Instead of making him see it, Asuka chose to simply roll her eyes. "Whatever."

"I don't!" Shinji insisted, "I just… when I'm around her… I…" he sighed, "ok… you win."

Asuka laughed.

"You should do that more often," Shinji observed, closing his eyes.

"I'll work on it," Asuka yawned. She groaned in frustration as the phone rang, ruining the closeness she was feeling with its demanding tone. "Souryu," she mumbled as she picked up the phone.

"Well," a placid voice replied, "I was hoping to speak to you, Asuka."

"I told you not to call me that," the redhead growled, all traces of calm now entirely gone, "What do you want, Nagisa?"

"Just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes," the boy on the other end of the line answered easily, "I thought I might be able to offer you some advice."

"Whatever," Asuka snorted, "like I need YOUR advice! Don't call here again, you freak, I-"

"Poor little girl…"

The Second Child froze as the gray-haired boy's voice became pitying. "W-what…?" she managed, sitting up in bed and ignoring Shinji's concerned inquiry.

Kaworu was obviously smiling as he spoke. "Your doll won't play for you anymore, so you hide in the arms of your little friend. How sweet."

"You bastard," Asuka growled, her entire body quaking with rage, "how DARE you-"

"I'm in the cages," the boy cut in unconcernedly, "if you want that advice – and I think you do, Asuka – meet me here. I think you'll find it… enlightening."

There was a click, and the line went dead.

"What was that about?" Shinji asked as Asuka dropped the phone onto the bed. "Asuka? Asuka??"

The redhead rose to her feet, her nostrils flaring as she drew sharp, angry breaths. –Advice?- she thought, tearing her door open and storming to the front of the apartment, -I'll tell him what he can do with his advice!- "I'm going out," she announced, "I have something I have to take care of, Shinji…" She paused as she slipped on her shoes, turning to face the now-agitated boy and offering him a smile. "Don't follow me, ok? I need to do this by myself."

Shinji opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again and nodded. "Least tell me where you're going?" he asked, fidgeting with the phone, "Please?"

Asuka considered this request for a moment. –If I don't tell him,- she thought, -he'll definitely follow me…- Out loud she said, "I'm going to talk to Doctor Akagi."

Shinji nodded, offering her a relieved smile. "Ok. Be back for dinner?" When Asuka assured him that she would, he headed towards his room, waiting until the front door opened and closed before dialing the phone.

"Hey… yeah, it's me. No, she's ok… but she's coming in to NERV. No… no, I'm not really sure why. She said it was to talk to Ritsuko, but I don't think she was telling the truth…" he paused, listening. "Well, no, I don't think you need to do all that… but if you see her at all, keep your eyes on her, ok? Ok, thanks… yeah…" he blushed, "y-yeah, I'd like that. Ok, I love you too…"

Clicking the phone off, he went into the living room and turned on the TV. –Nothing to do now but wait,- he thought. He hoped Asuka would be keeping her promise. He couldn't tell why, but he had a bad feeling about her sudden departure.

Sighing, he idly changed the channels, forcing himself to be patient as he waited for the phone to ring… and hoping it would be ringing with GOOD news.

**

Maya set the phone back in its cradle, smiling as she thought of Shinji's stammered agreement to come by and visit later. She sighed happily, turning her attention back to her monitor. –Keep an eye on Asuka, huh?- she thought with a small shrug, -Well, I guess I can do that for you, honey… but I don't think she needs anyone to baby-sit her.-

She grinned as she recalled how the redhead had dressed her down for breaking up with Shinji. "So angry and protective," she mused, typing several lines of code into the Magi before leaning back and regarding the ceiling. "Sticking up for a boy you wouldn't even admit was your friend."

She closed her eyes, thinking of what Shinji had told her of the girl. He hadn't gone into detail, and she respected his privacy, understanding that it was a matter of honor somehow… but he hinted – strongly – that Asuka was not as fearless and bold as she made herself out to be.

Maya could only take his word for this, as she was not privy to the psychiatric reports Doctor Akagi held, and wasn't close to the girl, but she still found it hard to believe that the redhead was as bad off as Shinji suggested – even after the time she had spent locked in Unit 02's plug.

"Just doesn't fit," she mused, idly making patterns on the armrests of her chair, "I mean, I can see Asuka being a bit softer than she portrays herself, but the way he talks about her… I dunno, just feels like maybe he's taking it a bit too seriously…"

A slight frown graced her features as she recalled an old saying: The curse of adulthood is to forget childhood's joy – and its pain.

"Maya."

Maya started, sitting upright in her chair as a sharp voice behind her spoke. "Sempai!" she exclaimed, blushing as she reached for her keyboard, "I was just-"

"That's not important right now," Ritsuko said tersely, "I need you to come with me."

-She's so tense lately,- Maya thought, rising quickly to her feet at the tone of command in the blonde's voice. "Yes ma'am," she replied, unconsciously smoothing her uniform pants, "where are we going?"

"Just follow," Ritsuko said flatly, turning for the door, "there's something you need to see."

Maya followed obediently, wondering what was so important that she should simply leave her terminal untended in the middle of her shift. As she was lead deeper and deeper into Central, then Terminal Dogma, her curiosity grew… though she never suspected the horrid truths that awaited her upon her arrival in one of the most heavily guarded locations in NERV.

She followed without question. Lulled by her faith in the woman leading her… fooled by her belief that she had seen the worst things angels or mankind had to offer… and never suspecting the depths of cruelty that could run in the heart of a woman betrayed by her love.

**

"Where's that advice you were muttering about on the phone?" Asuka grumbled, squinting as she peered into the darkened room in front of her, "And where the hell are we, anyway??"

The gray-haired boy at her side smiled brightly. "My advice to you," he said coolly, stepping through the door, "is this: watch the ones around you. You can learn more about being human from them than you think."

"Being human?" Asuka snorted, following the boy mere seconds before the door slid shut and plunged the room into darkness, "What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?? First I come all the way down here – interrupting my day off – and then you lead me all over the damn place, promising to tell me this great 'secret' that-"

Less than two seconds, that's what Asuka would decide later. It took less than two seconds for Kaworu to stop, grab her by the arm, whirl her around, and clasp his hand over her mouth, effectively gagging her as he yanked her down under one of the dimly-lit terminals in the vast room.

-Oh GOD!!- the redhead's mind screamed, -He's going to… NO!!!-

With every ounce of strength she could muster, Asuka fought. She tried to twist her body, but he held her firm. She tried to pull free, but he wrapped his other arm around her waist. She tried to bite his palm, but he cupped his hand, pulling the skin back from her teeth.

As her body began to shake with fear, Kaworu spoke. "Here," the youth whispered softly, "I am going to show you that secret I promised." His tone became light, amused, "I think it will be a very interesting lesson – for both of us."

Forty seconds of silence followed, during which Asuka continued to try and break loose. 

-Please,- her mind entreated, -please God – anybody! Don't let this happen again… not again!!-

"Such fragile creatures, humans," Kaworu mused, holding the girl firmly as she redoubled her efforts to free herself, "so strong of will and spirit when they choose, but so weak and helpless when they perceive themselves to be."

Asuka's struggles ceased as the lights in the big room came up and three women entered, easily recognizable by their voices. For a brief moment, Asuka thought they might see or hear her… but the hope was dashed as the loudest sound she could muster was drowned out by the hum of machinery in the room.

And the gasps of two of the women.

"Do you know why I think humans mature?" Kaworu asked, his tone idle, but barely audible as the three women paused in their conversation, "I think they do it because they are taught to. Look at your guardian for example," he tilted his head slightly, indicating one of the women, barely visible from the awkward angle under the terminal, "she behaves as a child would whenever she is given the chance… yet she pretends it is simply 'cutting loose.'" He smiled. "But what is most interesting about humans is that, in spite of your old saying about old dogs, humans continue to mature – even after reaching full size."

The boy paused as the three women discussed the contents of the room… and the fate of a Child. Asuka felt faint as the truth behind the First's existence was brought into harsh, glaring focus.

"You see?" Kaworu asked, pressing closer to Asuka's back and whispering directly into her ear, "Even adults can grow. Look at how worried Miss Ibuki is – simply because she knows this event will hurt the one she loves."

Asuka's eyes were wide as Ritsuko's finger ruthlessly depressed the button on her handheld computer, sending countless Rei bodies laughing to their death.

"Amazing, isn't it?" the gray-haired boy continued softly, "So much anger from the doctor… so much love from her understudy. Doesn't that move you, Asuka?"

A tear slipped down the redhead's cheek as Maya began to weep, asking over and over why her Sempai had done such a horrible thing.

As the tear dripped silently onto Kaworu's hand, he smiled. "Thank you," he whispered, kissing the girl just behind the ear.

Asuka closed her eyes, shaking in the boy's grasp as Misato took Ritsuko into custody and led her out of the tanks. When Maya finally made her exit, wiping her eyes and whispering 'why,' over and over, the redhead began to sob, her cries muffled by the pale hand still covering her mouth.

When the door to the now-desolate tanks slid closed, Kaworu released the girl, allowing her to cry out loud.

"W-why?" the redhead demanded, "Why is this happening?? Why did you show me this??"

The Fifth Child said nothing for a moment, choosing to wait until the girl had gotten her tears under control. "Because," he said softly, embracing her gently, "you are the one that must choose."

"C-choose what?" Asuka demanded, pulling away and getting unsteadily to her feet, "Choose how I'm going to kick your ass?? Because I-"

"It was hard for you, wasn't it?" Kaworu interrupted quietly, rising to his feet and staring into the tanks. "Seven years old… newly named pilot…" he turned to face her, his expression calm and unsmiling, "alone and afraid."

"I wasn't alone!" Asuka sniffed, "And I wasn't afraid! I'm not afraid of anything!!"

Kaworu shook his head. "Forced to grow up in the shadow of a father that had left… and a mother that had been stripped away."

"Stop it!" Asuka whispered, clenching her eyes closed.

"Forced to be an adult before any child should have to," the boy went on softly, "all of your childhood trappings torn from your grasp until you convinced everyone – even yourself – that you wanted it that way."

"STOP IT!!" 

"Yes," Kaworu said quietly, stepping past the agitated girl, "I definitely think it will be you that chooses. I thought it would be Shinji, at first, but he is happy with Miss Ibuki. He has known pain in his life – but not like you have, Asuka. The time is now… the choice is yours."

Asuka shook her head, narrowing her eyes as she spun to face the boy. "What are you… talking a… bout…"

Kaworu was no longer with her.

"Where are you, you freak?" Asuka demanded, her voice shaking, "Where are you??"

No answer was forthcoming, but the boy's final words echoed in Asuka's mind as she looked around the now-empty room.

__

"The time is now… the choice is yours."

Continued…

Author's notes: why the lack of detail on what Ritsuko, Maya, and Misato talked about in the clone tanks? Oh come on… if you really want to know, go watch episode 23 – it's the same stuff, just with Maya taking Shinji's dialogue. ((shrug)) Why couldn't Asuka break free? Kaworu's an angel – duh! Hehehe Anyway, see you next chapter.

Pre-read was by Ryoma, of course. :P Also playing the role of pre-reader on this chapter we have Locutus and ShinjiIkariEVA01 – take a bow, gentlemen!

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	5. The Fine Line Between Who You Are and Wh...

Disclaimer: see part 1.

Chances Taken

Part 5

The Fine Line Between Who You Are and Who You Want to be

By Random1377

"You're risking an awful lot, coming here…" Ritsuko mused, giving her visitor a sidelong glance.

"I don't care," came the level reply, "all I want is to get closer to the truth."

"And how can I help?" the blonde inquired, leaning back on her cell's lone cot. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a traitor…"

She shook her head at the irony. She, who had done so much for Project-E, labeled a threat to security and imprisoned. Not that she did not deserve it for her actions, but it still seemed so very, very strange.

She had helped keep mankind from the brink for so long… and now she was its prisoner

"You don't seem to care too much," was the answer, "and that's just ONE of the things I wanted to talk to you about."

"Do tell," Ritsuko yawned, looking bored.

"I don't have much time for this, _doctor,_" the other mumbled, "I have questions that need answers – and I need you to help me." There was a pause, then a whispered, "I don't care if you don't like me… but I know you care about Shinji, and Maya… tell me what I want to know, so I can protect them."

Ritsuko swallowed, averting her eyes. "What do you need?" she whispered.

"Codes," came the immediate reply, "I need access to certain… functions, of the MAGI – codes you have, and I need-"

"I don't have the codes here," Ritsuko cut in, "but I'll tell you where to look to find them. What else?"

"Tell me why."

"Why what?"

"Tell me why you killed them."

Ritsuko flinched as if struck. "I don't have to explain myself to you…" she said angrily, "I said I'd help, but this is-"

"You were happy…"

"What?"

"I said you were happy," the other person replied quietly, "you were happy playing big sister to Maya – so what happened? Why kill Rei?"

"They were just spare parts…" Ritsuko whispered.

"So you said," the other answered evenly, "so they should have meant nothing to you."

There was a long, pregnant pause in the cell… then Ritsuko murmured, "She always beat me…"

"What?"

"He was right," Ritsuko swallowed, "he said, 'The Commander will never see you as he sees her – not ever…' and he was right!"

"Who?" the other person demanded, "Kaworu?"

Ritsuko was staring at the floor. "I would have undergone any pain," she whispered, "any humiliation… if he would have only SEEN me!"

"What is Kaworu?"

"The codes," Ritsuko whispered in a monotone, "this place isn't safe. You'll have to find what I love most – after HIM – and break it… do you understand?"

"I think so," the other nodded, "but Kaworu – please, I have to know… is he…?"

Ritsuko sighed. "Yes…" she breathed, looking up into her visitor's face, "he's probably the last angel."

"In that case," came the immediate reply, "goodbye…"

"Where are you going?"

"Where do you think?"

Ritsuko nodded as the cell door slid open.

"Good luck…"

"Thanks… you too…"

**

"She's… gone?" Maya whispered sadly, toying with a set of red A-10 connectors.

"We found her clothes," Misato replied gently, "but there was no sign of her…"

The technician let out a gusty sigh. "Have you told Shinji yet?" She smiled sickly as Misato hemmed and hawed and admitted that she hadn't. "Ok," she whispered tiredly, setting the neural connectors on her desk. "I'll tell him."

"Are you two doing ok?" Misato asked hesitantly.

The Operations Director always approached the subject of Shinji and Maya's romance with trepidation. It had seen quite a few ups and downs so far, and she was never quite sure how things were going from day to day. It certainly LOOKED as if everything had stabilized for the young couple, but from experience she knew that things weren't always as they appeared. She thought something was amiss currently, what with Maya's new position and the time apart putting strain on the relationship.

She was glad, in this instance, to be wrong.

"Everything's great," Maya replied happily, "he's… one of the _good_ things in my life right now."

Misato smiled. "Better not tell me any more," she winked, "or I might try to take him from you."

"You had your chance," Maya retorted, blushing at the boldness in her own voice.

The older woman laughed with delight. "And I see having a steady boyfriend has given YOU a shot of self-confidence!" When Maya's blush deepened, Misato just laughed harder.

"Ummm, there is something odd, though," the younger woman mumbled, trying to change the subject.

"What is it?" Misato chuckled, getting herself under control. "Is it serious?"

"I don't know," Maya replied, "but someone came into Sempai's office and smashed one of her kitten statues…" she shook her head sadly. "It looked so pitiful, lying there in five little pieces," she sighed.

"Oh," Misato murmured noncommittally. "Well, I'll tighten security if you like. Hey, is that the time? I gotta run."

"Ok…" Maya replied, confused, "I'll… tell Shinji… about it later, ok?"

"Thanks," Misato sighed, "sorry for putting it all on you, but I've… got some stuff to take care of…"

Maya nodded. "I understand."

Hesitating at the door for a moment, Misato appeared on the verge of saying something more. Finally, she shook her head and stepped out the door.

**

Shinji sat in stunned silence, trying to cope with what he had just been told. "So they… don't know where she is…?" he asked weakly.

Maya kissed him softly on the cheek, pulling slowly back and nodding her head reluctantly. "No, Shinji," she whispered, "but Section Two is sure they can find her… they just need some more time…"

"And… and Rei…?"

Maya pulled him closer to her, wishing (a touch spitefully) that Misato was the one on the couch with Shinji. "She's still Rei," she murmured, stroking his cheek gently, "nothing's changed…"

When Shinji pursed his lips, Maya frowned.

She wanted to believe what she was saying… she really did – but to say that Rei was just the same old quiet little pilot she had always been was just too big a stretch. She wasn't even sure that Rei was entirely human. Ritsuko had told them that Rei was a vessel, and had a 'salvaged' soul – as did the EVAs – but she didn't say WHO the soul was salvaged from…

Shinji looked around the apartment, blushing faintly.

"What's wrong?" Maya asked concernedly.

"Is… Kaworu here?" Shinji murmured.

Maya blinked, then shared in Shinji's blush as she shook her head.

Closing her eyes as the boy reached for the top of her shirt, she whispered, "I don't think we should… Shinji…"

Shinji's hands shook as he forced them not to unbutton Maya's uniform. "Why not…?" he asked slowly, lowering his eyes.

Maya put her hand on top of his and pulled them around her waist, kissing him gently on the lips. "It's hard to explain," she whispered as they parted.

"Can you try?"

Keeping her eyes closed, Maya murmured, "If we… do that every time one of us is scared… that'll be the only time we do it…"

Shinji frowned. "But the last time we did it, it was just because we wanted to…"

Maya smiled. "I know… but I don't want to do it _because_ one of us is scared – I don't want to remember any time with you as being caused by sadness…"

For a long moment, Shinji said nothing.

Maya opened her eyes, taking a breath to speak… but letting it out as she found Shinji's eyes damp with tears. "Shinji," she began uncertainly, "I-"

"Can I… say something?" Shinji cut in, his voice uneven. When Maya nodded, he whispered, "I think… that if one of us is sad or scared… that's exactly when we SHOULD do it…" He averted his eyes, adding, "I don't want you to think that I'm using it as an excuse… or that I'm trying to use you… but I feel safe when I'm with you that way – safe and close… and if I'm scared, or lonely, or sad, or you are any of those things… I think…" He shrugged uncomfortably. "I think that would be the best time to do it," he concluded, "because that's when it would mean the most."

Maya was speechless.

"We don't have to," Shinji said after a moment, smiling and kissing her chin. "I just… wanted to tell you how I feel." Rising to his feet, he stretched. "You want something to drink?" he asked awkwardly, "We kinda talked for a long time…" When Maya did not reply, he turned towards the door to the kitchen.

"Shinji, wait…"

The brown-haired boy paused, looking over his shoulder as Maya got to her feet and approached him.

"It really makes you feel that way…?" she asked quietly, sliding her arms around him from the back. "Safe… and close?"

"Yes," Shinji whispered, "being with you is like being in heaven."

Maya chuckled quietly. "From anyone else," she said softly, "or even any other time… that would sound so corny, Shinji, and I don't think I've understood before now…"

Shinji flushed, and opened his mouth to explain himself further.

Before he could speak, Maya slowly turned him around to face her, staring into his eyes as she breathed, "I want to see heaven with you…"

**

"Such a shame," Kaworu mused, looking up at Evangelion Unit 02. "I truly thought you would play with me, Souryu… but you fled…"

Sighing briefly, the boy stepped off the edge of the catwalk, floating in midair in front of the red mecha.

"I suppose…" he whispered, "that it's time to end this."

Unit 02's eyes snapped open in response to the boy's silent call… and the final angel began to move…

**

The command deck was in a frenzy.

Maya and Shinji had arrived at NERV twenty minutes prior, and had been in her office, enjoying a quiet (rather extensive) 'have a good day at work,' when the angel alarm sounded.

"I've got no feed from Unit 02," Maya reported, trying to push the thought that everyone was staring at her away, "as far as I can see… no one's in it."

She sighed wistfully, blushing as she recalled just how near Heaven she had gotten in her apartment before they had gone in to work… and wondering if Shinji would want to spend the night with her.

-I can get Kaworu to stay somewhere else,- she thought, her blush intensifying, -just one night… don't we deserve that?-

Whether they did or did not… it was not looking like she would be getting any alone time with Shinji that night.

"Is it that boy?" Kouzou whispered to Gendou, "Is he planning to unite with Unit 02?"

"Unlikely," the Commander replied, "I would wager that he's looking for something…"

"He's going to end it…" the older man murmured, "can we stop him?"

Gendou folded his hands in front of his face. "Of course," he replied coolly. Rising to his feet, he spoke to the entire command deck.

"The Fifth Child is to be reclassified as an angel. Launch Unit 01 to intercept and terminate it."

Maya gasped, swiveling her chair to face the command Dais. "B-but," she stammered, "Kaworu??"

"Maya," Misato murmured, drawing the technician's attention. "Launch Unit 01…"

"Yes, ma'am…" the younger woman whispered, turning back to her terminal.

"Where is Rei?" Kouzou muttered darkly.

"She is safe," Gendou replied under his breath. "In a place HE cannot get to her…"

"I see…"

**

"Kaworu is…?" Shinji asked incredulously.

"That's right, Shinji," Misato's voice replied, "you're the only one that can stop him, do you understand?"

"Yes," the Third answered reluctantly. "But-"

"No buts," Misato interrupted, "stop him."

Shinji swallowed, pushing forward on the control yokes. –How can this be?- he thought, listening distractedly as Maya guided him towards the linear carriage where Unit 02 and Kaworu were descending. –He was so nice… and considerate.- he thought as Unit 01 began to move down, -How can he be an angel??-

Focusing on the task at hand, he cleared his throat. "Approaching t-target…" he announced, "I can see them."

"Ahhh, Shinji…"

He gasped as Kaworu's voice reached him through Unit 01's external pickups.

"I thought you would come for me…" the gray-haired boy said lightly, "but I'm afraid the game is over – because you… are not Asuka."

"I don't understand!" Shinji cried, still trying to come to grips with the fact that Maya's charge could conceivably kill them all.

"She could not cross that line," Kaworu murmured, "the one between who she was and who she wanted to be. She could not cross it… because she was too weak – in spite of her posturing and bold words, she was too weak to step across that thin, thin line and become the person she longed to become." He sighed. "Therefore… I'm afraid I cannot play anymore."

Shinji shook his head in confusion, trying to understand what the boy was talking about… but it became all too clear as Unit 02 abruptly lashed out, sending Unit 01 reeling off balance, and buried its progressive knife in the purple machine's exposed throat.

**

Maya nearly passed out as Shinji's short, abruptly interrupted scream of pain reached her. 

"01 is down!" Makoto cried, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"Prime the self-destruct charges," Misato ordered flatly, "when Heaven's Door opens…"

"I understand," the technician replied quietly, getting himself under control, "it's better than letting Third Impact happen…"

Misato nodded, sighing sadly. "I'm sorry," she whispered, laying her hand on the man's shoulder, "You've done so much for me… helping me when no one else would… and this is how I repay you…"

"It's alright," Makoto answered, fighting the urge to put his hand over hers. "If it's with you… it's alright…"

Misato smiled sadly as the technician blushed. "Thank you," she said quietly, lifting her hand and returning it to her side. "Hopefully… it won't come to that."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing…" Misato murmured, "just trying to have faith…"

"Not easy, is it?" Maya interjected, her voice shaking slightly from the strain of staying seated when all she wanted was to run to her lover's side.

Misato shook her head, chuckling bitterly.

"You can say that again."

**

Kaworu watched dispassionately as Unit 01 went limp, crashing to the ground as the linear carriage reached the end of its line.

"I am sorry," he said quietly, willing Unit 02 to release the knife. "But it was not for you to decide, Shinji. If Asuka had been able to cross that line, I would have continued the game a little longer… but now…" he shook his head.

The boy's red eyes took in Unit 02, standing perfectly still where it had touched down and facing him, waiting for its next command.

"I suppose you have served your purpose, Shadow of Adam," he mused, "perhaps, when this is all over, you will be free of the Lillim's bonds." He smiled brightly, releasing the mecha from his control. "But for now," he whispered, turning away and starting towards the final door, "I must go."

Ten feet from the last barrier, he heard a heavy footstep.

"Hmmm…?"

Kaworu turned, the expression on his face one of mild curiosity… and found a giant, red hand reaching for him.

He gasped as Unit 02 snatched him out of the air, too stunned to raise his AT field, let alone fight back. "Asuka…?" he whispered, stunned as he found himself the red mecha's captive.

"There is no line!" the redhead's voice boomed.

Kaworu's eyes widened as the girl went on.

"I am exactly who I want to be! I do what I have to do! I fight when I need to!" Her voice rose to a scream, "_I protect the people I love!_"

There was a long silence as the final angel stared into the glowing eyes of Evangelion Unit 02. He briefly considered trying to wrest control of the mecha from its pilot, but he knew it be futile. Unit 02 and Asuka Langley Souryu were in perfect synchronization – nothing he could do would shake that bond free.

Slowly, he smiled.

**

Maya gasped in horror as Unit 02 abruptly closed its fist, ending Kaworu's life with an anticlimactic, wet squelch. In the ensuing, disbelieving quiet, Asuka's whisper could be heard as clear as a bell.

"There is no line…"

"T-target is silent…" Makoto stammered, tearing his eyes from the main screen to look at his readout. "He's dead…"

Misato shook herself. "Status on Shinji and Asuka?" she murmured.

Maya swallowed, forcing her shaking fingers to type in commands on her keyboard. "Unit 02's feed is still inactive," she replied unsteadily, "but the MAGI's voice-stress analysis indicates that she's unharmed. Shinji…" she took a steadying breath, "Shinji's unconscious, but seems to be stable."

Misato nodded slowly. "I guess… it's over," she muttered, looking around the room as if waking from a long, dark dream. "Have… Asuka return Unit 02 to its cage, and have a retrieval crew get Shinji out of Unit 01 and check it for damage…"

"Major."

The Operations Director looked over her shoulder, still feeling somewhat dazed as she met the Commander's cool gaze. "Yes, sir?"

"Once both Units are in their cages," Gendou began smoothly, "I want the Second Child questioned."

"Asuka?" Misato asked, confused, "Why?"

"To find out where she has been," the Commander replied, "and how she was able to lock out Unit 02's surveillance functions."

"Does it really matter?" Misato asked hesitantly, "The angel is dead, sir, shouldn't we be celebrat-"

"Major," Gendou cut in sharply, "need I remind you that this is a tightly-structured, absolutely-necessary organization? There are other concerns besides the defeat of angels, and there must be no breaks in the chain of command. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes, sir…"

"Good," Gendou nodded, rising to his feet, "I'll leave the rest to you, Fuyutsuki. Take us to level three status, and operate as usual."

"Yes sir," Kouzou replied evenly.

"Asuka…?"

Maya looked up from her terminal as Misato spoke out loud.

"Asuka…"

For a moment, there was no reply, and Maya thought that the redhead must have deactivated her communications… then a hesitant, meek voice – completely unlike anything she had ever heard from the fiery Second Child – whispered, "Yes, ma'am?"

Misato took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before asking, "Can you come home now, Asuka? Shinji's been worried about you…"

Maya felt her body trembling with a combination of relief and sadness as Asuka's voice rose an octave, her tone indicating that she was barely containing tears.

"Yes ma'am…"

-Asuka,- Maya thought sadly, -I'll make sure he never strays too far, ok? I can see how much you need him right now… so I won't take him away from you…- She smiled softly as Unit 02 began to move towards its cage, its movements slow and awkward. –I won't give him up,- she thought, with only a touch of guilt, -but I think… maybe… I can see that he spends some time with you. That's what friends do, right?-

The control room slowly returned to normal, each technician fulfilling their duty with a much lighter heart. The angel was gone – the LAST angel was gone… surely they would have some respite now, wouldn't they? Makoto and one of the lower technicians quietly discussed the future, musing over what careers they might go into should NERV disband. Shigeru quietly speculated on what might happen to the Evangelions, now that they were no longer needed. And nearly everyone one deck commented that they should visit the Second and Third, to thank them for their constant vigilance and sacrifices.

Only Misato did not join in the quietly subdued pseudo-revelry all around her. She could not shake the memory of Kaji's voice, quietly instructing her to press on in search of the truth… and she could not forget the secrets revealed on the chip he had left her, hinting at deeper secrets about the EVAs and SEELE.

And no matter how she tried, she could not forget the sight of Adam, the first angel, deep within Terminal Dogma… silently waiting upon a cross of red to fulfil some unknown purpose.

No, Misato could not join in the good cheer that was spreading all around her, because deep in her heart… she knew this was not the end…

Not by a long shot.

Continued…

Author's Notes: I had a hard time coming up with this chapter. I knew how I wanted to start it, and I knew how I wanted to end it – or at least, I knew I wanted to have Asuka in Unit 02 – but I didn't quite know how to get there. I finally had a breakthrough about a week and a half ago, and I wrote half of the chapter… then it got late and I went to bed. :P So today, I opened it back up and just finished it. Not that anyone really cares, but hey – now you know. Heheh. Two more chapters to go! Watch for Ricochet, the next chapter, coming (hopefully) within the next month or so. But don't hold me to that… :P

Pre-reading of this chapter was done by Major Mayhem – a fine job, Major! I'd give you a medal, if I had one! :P

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	6. Ricochet

Disclaimer: see part 1 

Chances Taken

Part 6

Ricochet

By Random1377

"Don't you think this is a bit much?"

Gendou continued to stare at the calm Child standing in front of his desk, feeling a certain amount of grudging respect as she met his eyes levelly.  "The codes," he said quietly, "who gave them to you?"

"Found 'em," Asuka said flatly, trying to scratch her nose with her triple-cuffed hands.  "They were just lying around, Commander – very poor security if you ask me, you might want to-"

"I'm glad you find this so entertaining," Gendou cut in coolly, "unauthorized use of an Evangelion… possession of restricted access codes… Absent Without Leave… should I continue?"

"Can you?" Asuka returned belligerently.  "So far everything you've said has been utter crap – why not make up some more?" she wet her lips, waiting for him to interrupt.  "Absent without leave?  I was in Unit 02.  Unauthorized use of an EVA?  Killing angels is what they're for.  Possession-"

"Tell me where you got the lockout codes," Gendou cut in, now sounding faintly annoyed, "and I might be lenient with you."

"Lenient…" Asuka whispered, her voice losing some of its fire.  "Do you honestly think that after sitting in LCL for three days, waiting for that kid – the one YOU let in here – to make his move that I would just start crying and throwing myself at your feet, begging you to forgive me for doing what I felt was necessary to beat him?"

Gendou's right eye twitched slightly.  "There is an order to things here, pilot," he said dangerously, "a chain of command to follow."

"I thought killing angels was the bottom line," Asuka said sarcastically, "or maybe I missed a memo."

"Very amusing," the Commander grunted, "I will give you one last chance, pilot Souryu – where did you get the MAGI lockout codes?"

Asuka shrugged.  "From a cat," she grinned suddenly, "a little calico cat with blue eyes and-"

"Security," Gendou said softly, pushing a button on his desk, "please escort Miss Souryu to a holding cell.  She is to remain there until such time as she is feeling more cooperative."  He leaned back in his chair, folding his hands in front of his face.  "Consider yourself stripped of your status," he said coldly, "and if you see Doctor Akagi, give her my regards."

Asuka looked a bit pale, but managed to keep her voice from trembling as she muttered, "I hope the cell I have has a window so I can watch your world crumbling around you, you heartless bastard."

Gendou smiled as the guards came in and took the girl by the upper arms to lead her away, and his reply followed her down the hall, echoing with his amusement and anger.

"It doesn't."

**

Consciousness returned to Shinji very slowly, mingling with his dreams and making him question whether or not he was truly awake.  One particularly vivid image was that of Asuka, her features contorted into a mask of pleading agony, looking up into his face as he (for reasons he could not fathom) slowly destroyed everything she valued.

-Horrible…- he shivered, opening his eyes to find the ceiling of a hospital room waiting patiently for him.  –Thank god that's just my imagination…-

"The troubles of a pained sleeper are betrayed by his unhappy expressions," a soft voice at his side whispered, "were your dreams unpleasant, Ikari?"

Shinji continued to stare upwards.  "They were… scary, Ayanami," he replied quietly, feeling no real surprise to have her at his side, "people I cared for were… hurt, by me."

"I see," Rei said softly.

"Where's Maya?"

Rei's voice sounded faintly amused.  "She is on the command deck… fulfilling her duty."

"Oh," Shinji sighed.

"I am sure that she would rather be with you," the blue-haired girl assured him, putting a hand on his and leaning into his line of sight, "but your room has been designated off-limits until you awaken."

Shinji frowned, glancing at the girl out of the corner of his eye.  "Then… how come you're here?" he asked curiously.  "Aren't you disobeying orders?"

His jaw dropped open as she nodded an affirmative.  "Yes," she said carefully, "but it was imperative that I speak to you – regardless of the cost."  She averted her eyes.  "Somehow, it has become more important to me to see you happy than to follow orders that do not make sense…"

"Ayanami…" Shinji breathed.  "That's… thank you…"  He averted his eyes, "Then… what's so important?"

"There are… details of my past that I felt you should be made aware of," the girl said reluctantly, "as well as-"

"I already know."

Rei blinked.  "I don't understand."

Shinji shrugged slightly, too tired and overwhelmed with all that had happened in the last few days to feel any true sense of disgust or anger at what the girl was.  "Maya found out," he sighed, "when your… ummm… others were destroyed."

The First Child glanced down, straightening her skirt and blushing faintly as she whispered, "I wanted to tell you a long time ago, Shinji…"

"It doesn't really matter, Ayanami," he replied softly, "I'm leaving NERV now that the angels are all gone."  He closed his eyes.  "But… I'm not angry at you, or anything, I'm just… I'm just so tired… of everything – I want to take Maya and leave this place…"

Rei continued smoothing her skirt.  _It should be me that you are taking,_ she thought sadly.  Pushing away at the pointlessly pining thought, she sat up in her chair, studying the boy carefully for a moment.

"You are happy with Miss Ibuki, then?"

Shinji nodded, keeping his eyes closed.  "I am," he confirmed calmly, "very happy.  Someday… when she's ready… I'll marry her."

Rei considered this for a moment, then sighed, very softly.  "I would like to be there," she said quietly, managing a small smile, "as I said before, Shinji, your happiness-"

Shinji frowned and opened his eyes as the girl cut herself off.  "What is it?" he asked, watching with curiosity as she rose to her feet and tilted her head to the side, regarding him closely.

"You are… still weak…" she said slowly.

The boy touched his throat, grimacing slightly as he recalled the feeling of Unit 02's progressive knife hitting Unit 01.  "Well, not THAT weak," he said with some confusion.  "I mean… it hurts, but I should be ok."

"This place," Rei said softly, shaking her head from side to side, "is not safe, Shinji…"

"What do you mean?"

The blue-haired girl closed her eyes, the odd feeling of something joining with her soul repeating itself two, then three more times.  _It is begun…_

"Get dressed and come with me," she said quietly, "or you will die."

The boy stared at her for a minute before slipping out of bed and dressing, seemingly convinced by the tension in her voice.  _I will do my best, Miss Ibuki,_ she thought grimly, bracing herself as another five souls joined hers at the same time.  

"Come," she whispered, gesturing for him to follow.

She opened the hospital room door and immediately turned right, heading for the secured elevator that would lead her to Terminal Dogma… for no matter how much she wished to flee from her destiny, she knew it was inescapable.

_He will be safe there,_ she thought, wishing it was more of a certainty, _at least until…_

Closing her eyes and shaking her head to clear it, Rei Ayanami led Shinji Ikari into the depths of NERV… where the future of mankind was to be decided.

Neither of them noticed the small, carefully folded piece of paper tucked carefully under Shinji's pillow.

**

Maya sighed and leaned back in her seat, lacing her fingers behind her head.  -Just a few more hours,- she thought happily, -and with the last angel down, maybe Major Katsuragi will consider my request for a weekend off.-

She glanced up at the woman, frowning as she found her pacing back and forth in front of the command dais.  "Is something wrong, ma'am?" she inquired cautiously.

Misato continued pacing.  "Nothing you can help with," she muttered, "unless you can tell me why we're still on full alert when the angels are all dead."

Maya blinked.  "Well," she said reluctantly, "I guess it doesn't hurt to be prepared…"

"Prepared for what?" Misato returned immediately, coming to a stop in front of the younger woman.  "And don't you think the sub-commander looks a bit too grim for having just won the war?"

They both looked up to where the gray-haired man stood stiffly at attention, his eyes fixed on the bank of monitors that dominated the far wall.

"I… I don't know," Maya shrugged, "I just… oh never mind…"

She thought briefly of asking for the weekend off, just to change the subject… but reconsidered as the operations director began pacing once more.  -They'd tell us if there was something to be worried about, right?- She thought uncertainly, -I mean, the angels are gone, and—

"I have something I want to take care of," Misato announced suddenly, striding towards the door.

Before Maya could reply, a soft ping sounded on her computer.  She glanced down, blinking in surprise as she found the simple message, 'Terminal' blinking on her screen.

"Who… is… this…?" she typed back, glancing around to see if anyone else was getting the odd signal.

'Terminal…' came the quick reply, 'Get out now, Maya.  Too dangerous.  Go to Terminal.'

"Dogma?" the brown-haired woman typed back, feeling a deep sense of unease as she waited for an answer.

'Yes,' popped up on the screen, 'go now.  Shinji is in danger.'

Maya shot to her feet, frantically typing, "Is he there?  What kind of danger?"

She slammed her fist down on the desk as the internal messenger window winked out of existence.

"You ok, Ibuki?" Makoto asked quietly.  "Shift's over in a couple hours you know," his lips curved up into a smile, "you can wait that long to see your little boyfriend, can't you?"

Maya frowned and shook her head.  –Danger,- she thought frantically, -Shinji's in danger… in Terminal…-  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and when she opened them, her face was set into a mask of bold determination.

Turning on her heel, she strode from the command deck, ignoring the chorus of calls that followed her out and heading straight for one of the elevators that would lead her to her destination.

**

Asuka groaned as light spilled across her face.  "Do you mind?" she growled, rolling onto her side.  "It's only been four hours!  Come back in a few weeks – with cable – and maybe I'll give you a hint."

"Now I KNOW," a soft voice whispered, "that you don't wonder WHY you're in here."

The redhead sat up, blinking as she found the harsh light from the open doorway outlining a very familiar figure.  "M-Misato…?"

The purple-haired woman stepped quickly into the cell, producing a pair of coveralls and a large hat.  "Put these on," she whispered urgently, "the guard was sitting down when I tazed him, so I'm hoping it will look like he just fell asleep… but we have to hurry."

"What's going on?" Asuka asked, picking up on the woman's nervousness – and the fact that she was essentially breaking her out of prison.  "Where are we going?  Is Shinji ok? Are-"

"Damn it," Misato hissed, cutting her off, "why are you so freaking curious all of the sudden!  We're getting the hell out of here…"

Asuka nodded, slipping the coverall on over her plugsuit, which she had not been given the chance to change out of before her incarceration.  "What do you need me to do?" she asked, her nerves suddenly humming with excitement.

Misato pulled out a laptop and offered it to the girl.  "Lock out the cameras on this floor and get us a safe exit," she said, her voice shaking slightly and betraying her fear.  "We're never coming back, Asuka… ok?"

"Shinji," the redhead said immediately, "he's coming with us, right?"

"I left a note for him," the woman said tensely, ducking out of the cell and taking a quick look around, "I told him to bring Maya and meet us at his favorite place…"

"So you're serious," Asuka murmured, slipping out of the cell and kneeling by a data access port.  "It's about time."

"Yeah, yeah," Misato muttered, wetting her lips and looking around as the girl began entering codes, "Just hurry up and-"

She was cut off as the general alarm began sounding.  

"Damn it!" Asuka swore, "System lock down…"  Her eyes widened in shock.  "Intruder alert," she read slowly, "first seventeen levels occupied – what the hell??"

"Did you secure us a route?" Misato asked, sweat breaking out on her forehead as she drew her service pistol.

"There IS no secure route," Asuka pointed out irritably, "we're cut off – we're ALL cut off, don't you get it!?  We're under ATTACK!"

Misato took a deep breath.  "There's one route that's secure…" she said softly, giving the collar of the girl's red plugsuit a meaningful glance.

Asuka shook her head, grinning softly as she consulted the laptop.  "I like you, Misato…" she chuckled quietly, "have I ever told you that?"  She looked up, meeting the older woman's eyes as she informed her, "There are fifteen levels between us and Unit 02…"

Misato nodded and pulled the slide on her gun, chambering a round.  "Let's do it."

**

Things, Rei decided, were not going well.

"How much further?" Shinji asked as they jogged briskly through Terminal Dogma.  "And… and can we stop so I can get in touch with Maya?  Those alarms-"

"No," Rei said softly, cutting him off, "there is no way to get in touch with the command deck until we arrive."

Shinji nodded.  "Ok…"

_And there may not be time once we get there,_ Rei added mentally, slowing as they reached the vast portal known as Heaven's Door.  She was on the verge of triggering the doors when a tall figure stepped out of the shadows.

"I see you've heard the call…"

Rei tensed slightly.  "Yes… Commander," she whispered.

At her side, Shinji went rigid.

"You brought him… why?" Gendou asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out an access card.

The Third Child winced as if struck, but Rei's voice was calm and collected as she answered, "He was in danger… I have sworn to protect him…"

"How… interesting," the Commander muttered, sounding as if he found the situation anything but.  "Come then… it is time…"

"Time for what?" Shinji whispered, watching in confusion as his father slid the access card through the reader.

Rei kept her eyes forward, stepping through the massive doors after the black-coated man and murmuring, "Impact."

**

Maya put her hands on her knees, gasping for breath as she came to a halt outside of the most secure location in NERV.  "M-made it…" she panted, inhaling deeply and straightening as she approached the huge doors.

"Stop."

The technician froze immediately as a coldly commanding voice whispered from the shadows.  Instinctively, she raised her hands.  "I'm… not armed…" she managed.

"I'm glad you got here ok," the voice said honestly, "but you shouldn't go in there, Maya…"

"Sempai?"

Turning cautiously, she found that the voice from the shadows did indeed belong to her superior.

"Shinji?" she called, "Shinji are you-"

"He's inside," Ritsuko murmured, "talking to his father…" her lips curled into a sneer, "and that miserable First Child."

Maya paled at the cold, slightly mad tone in the blonde's voice.  "I need to… to make sure he's ok…" she managed, stepping carefully past the woman and starting into the huge open space beyond.

Ritsuko shrugged.

"Suit yourself…"

**

Shinji's mouth was altogether too dry as his father slowly reached out and pressed his hand against Rei's chest.  –Stop it…- he tried to say, but his throat would not cooperate.

It had been only five minutes since they had entered Terminal Dogma proper, but in that time, Shinji had found his entire concept of reality shattered.  He knew Rei was a clone of his mother… and he knew that Third Impact was what they had been TRYING to avoid… but to find out that Rei was somehow key to everything – and that his FATHER was trying to start an alternate version of Third Impact.

Suffice it to say he was well-founded in feeling a little thunderstruck.

Things only grew more complicated when Maya and Ritsuko stepped into the room, walking slowly over to where the trio was standing.

"Doctor Akagi," Gendou began, reaching into his pocket with his free hand, "Honestly, I-"

Shinji's eyes widened as Ritsuko whipped her right arm up, firing with the small pistol clutched in it and catching the Commander at the wrist.

To his credit, Gendou did not scream.  He simply gasped, staggering back as his hand was forcibly detached from his arm, slowly sinking into Rei's body.  He clutched at his injured limb, the gun he had been pulling from his pocket dropping to the floor and bouncing into the LCL as he stared in horror at the blue-haired girl.

"R-Rei…" he managed, falling to his knees, "don't… leave me like this…"

The First Child looked down as the man collapsed to the ground, his eyes rolling closed.  "I am not planning to proceed," she whispered, shaking her head for emphasis, "that was your dream, Commander…"

"W-why?" Maya stammered, looking at her superior with horror as the woman re-cocked the pistol.  "Sempai, why are you doing-"

"I thought about reprogramming the MAGI to self-destruct," Ritsuko cut in acidly, "but someone locked them down – and besides, that was so impersonal… this is much more satisfying."

"Please don't kill him," her understudy begged, "please, ma'am?  I… I know he's done bad things, and…" she swallowed, "maybe he deserves what happens, but don't… please don't kill him, ok?"  She bowed her head.  "There's been too much death already…"

"Oh he won't die," the blonde said cruelly, "Death is too good for him… so I'll make sure he lives – in constant pain!"

"Sempai," Maya said cautiously, "maybe we should-"

"You stay out of this, Maya!" Ritsuko shouted, cutting her off, "I don't want to hurt you, but I will, do you hear me?"

Maya stepped to the side, moving as discretely as she could closer to where Shinji and Rei stood.

"You…" Ritsuko whispered, swinging the gun slowly over towards Rei, "he always chose you over me…"

"That is not my fault," Rei said quietly, "I was merely his tool."

"SHUT UP!" the blonde screamed, "That doesn't make it ok!"  She cocked the hammer back, taking careful aim.

"Shinji," Rei said softly, "you must stop Doctor Akagi… I cannot guarantee your safety if she attempts to fire."

Shinji met her eyes, remembering the conversation between her and his father… and all that was implied, but never spoken.  His eyes went wide as he turned to Ritsuko.  "NO!" he yelled, trying to close the distance between them.

He was too late.

The crack of the firing cap going off seemed small and somehow hollow in the enormous space of Terminal Dogma, like a small firecracker set off in an empty auditorium… but small or large, the sound of the shot did not matter – the results did.

The space in front of the First Child burst into the colored octagon shape of an AT field, and the bullet ricocheted off of it, finding another target with deadly accuracy.

Maya gasped as the bullet slammed into her body, crushing bone and tearing through tissues… spattering her blood across the floor.  Shinji watched in horror as the woman he loved collapsed to the floor, holding her chest and struggling to draw breath with her undamaged lung.

"Maya?" Ritsuko whispered.  "Oh God…" the gun fell from her hand, clattering to the ground.  She stared at her shaking hands as if they were someone else's.

Shinji ignored her and ran to Maya's side, pressing his hands against the wound.  "Maya!" he yelled, "Maya, hang on!"

Maya stared at him with pained eyes.  "Shinji…" she gasped, struggling to sit up, "it… h-hurts…" her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped to the ground as darkness filled her vision.

"MAYA!" Shinji screamed, holding her up against him, "No… no no no no!!!!" he began to sob.  "PLEASE!" he cried, "Please!!  Someone help!!"

But there was no reply to his frantic cry, only stunned, disbelieving silence…

To be concluded…

Author's Notes:  ohhh you wanted a FAST update.  Yeah, sorry… I don't do that.  _  Ok, ok… sorry it took so long to get this one done, I just had a serious lack of inspiration that finally lifted when I thought of how Asuka would react to being cuffed after beating Kaworu.  I just figured she's beaten the last angel, come to grips with who she is, and endured days of wet, slimy LCL to do what she thought was right – so what kind of intimidation could the Commander REALLY have?  After I got that taken care of, the rest just fell into place. ^_^  Should you look for the next chapter anytime soon?  Well… I hope so.  I think I've got a pretty good idea of how it'll go – but don't quote me on that.  -_-  I'll try not to keep you waiting too long, and thanks for sticking with me this far… we're almost there.

Pre-read was done by Ryoma, LeperMessiah, and Ta-kun.  Thanks y'all.

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	7. One Last Chance

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Chances Taken

Part 7

One Last Chance

By Random1377

"Have I ever told you that you're insane?" Misato wondered thoughtfully.  "You are, you know."

Asuka snorted, shaking her head as she surveyed the dismal scene before her.  "If I remember correctly," she muttered, "this was your brilliant idea."

The operations director pursed her lips, looking up at the bakelite-coated forms of Units 01 and 02.  "Well," she admitted, shaking her head as she eyed Unit 02's right hand, the only part of either mecha that was uncovered.  "I've had better… and you have to admit – it would have been beautiful if it wasn't for all this crap…"

There was a moment of silence.

"Sooooo…" Asuka said gustily, "now what?"

Misato shrugged, fighting her rising hysteria with sarcasm.  "I dunno," she said dryly, "you could try whining about your mother – maybe one of the EVAs will break out of the bakelite and take you on board, what do you think?"

Asuka shook her head.  "I think that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," she grumbled, "next you'll be kissing me and telling me we'll do the rest when I get back."

Misato rolled her eyes.  "NOW who's being stupid?" she snapped, "Me, kissing a kid – that's almost as ridiculous as the Commander starting Third Impact himself! And 'do the rest'?  When did you become such a perv?!  Like I'd ever-

"ANYway," the redhead cut in testily, "we're still trapped, we still don't know what's going on with Shinji, and I still don't have a cheese sandwich!"

"Come again?" Misato blinked, frowning as the girl shrugged.  "I hardly think this is the time for that kind of humor."

"I'm hungry," Asuka grumbled, "sue me.  Besides, I don't see anything else for us to do… and I'm hungry."

"Well," Misato snapped, "I don't have my hotplate with me – all I see is…"

Asuka waited expectantly.  "Yeeeesss?" she prompted, wondering why the woman was suddenly smiling from ear to ear.  "What?  What are you so happy about?"

Misato winked at her.  "I was just thinking… I might not be able to make you a sandwich… but how about some soup?"

"Huh?"

The purple-haired woman put her forefinger to her lips.  "Shhh," she whispered, "it's a secret."

As Misato started walking towards the far wall, Asuka turned her attention to Unit 02 and muttered, rather loudly, "She's cracked…"

"Give me a hand, can you?"

Turning her head, Asuka's eyes widened.  "And I'M insane?" she breathed, matching Misato's grin as she realized what the older woman had in mind.

Quickly she hurried over to where the woman stood, laughing with slightly-mad delight as the plan was outlined for her.

This might, she thought, just work…

**

Shinji was in a state of deep shock.

"Maya…?" he whispered, gently caressing the woman's forehead, "Wake up, Maya… we… we need to go, Maya… so… so wake up, ok?  Just… just wake up…"

Rei shook her head slowly, turning away… but Shinji's voice suddenly grew in volume, forcing her attention back around.

"You bring her back to me!" the boy demanded, his voice bordering on hysteria, "You can do it – you're an angel! I know you are!!"

"I am only a vessel," Rei said quietly, glancing down at Ritsuko, who was simply staring at her hands.  "I cannot-"

"LIAR!!!"

She closed her eyes, unable to face his rage.  "It is not up to angels to decide who lives and who dies," she told him, "it is true that I carry the soul of an angel within me… but I cannot-"

"There is a way…"

All eyes shifted to Gendou, who had managed to get to his knees and was staring intently at his son, the stump of his right hand clutched tightly in his left.

"To save her… to save all of us from becoming a colony of worthlessness…"

"Tell me," Shinji said eagerly, "please."

"Instrumentality."

The two women averted their eyes as Shinji looked from one to the other.  "What do you mean…?"

"The joining of all souls into one, perfect being," Gendou said slowly, smiling at his son, "you would be with her, and all of your friends, and… your mother…"

Rei's shoulders slumped as Shinji glanced to her for confirmation.  "He is… correct," she said reluctantly, "Instrumentality would remove all boundaries and unite all mankind in glorious, unbroken unity."

"In theory…"

Gendou's expression darkened as Ritsuko spoke.

"That's what the scrolls say," she murmured, "but they also say that we would all be one – without thought or will of our own… with no individuality…"  She met Shinji's eyes.  "Is that what she would want?"

"But… but if I don't, she could die before I get help…" Shinji's face was twisted into a mask of indecision.

"You'll just have to take that chance…"

He looked up, finding Ritsuko staring at Maya.

"What would she do?" the blonde continued, never looking away from her understudy, "Would she condemn the entire race… just for you?"  She looked up at Shinji, shaking her head slowly.  "Is that what love really is?"

"I don't know," Shinji moaned miserably.  "I just… I don't KNOW!!"

"It's time, Shinji," Ritsuko said tiredly, glancing at Gendou's pale, drawn face, "one way or the other, it's time…"

Shinji looked up at Rei, his eyes pleading for help… but she simply shook her head.

"It is your choice, Ikari…" she whispered, "I leave it to you."  She glanced down at Maya's still form, adding, "But you must chose quickly, for Doctor Akagi is correct… her time is almost gone."

"Think about it, Shinji," Gendou urged suddenly, "Everyone you know and love – with you forever!"  Seeing that his son was swayed by this, Gendou pressed forward.  "This is your one chance to correct all the mistakes you've made – don't throw it away for some silly, selfish concept of individuality."

Shinji's face hardened, but before he could say anything about his 'mistakes,' a resounding crash filled Terminal Dogma.  "U-Unit 02??" he gasped.

Indeed, the red mecha was rising to its feet, swinging its quad-optic face from left to right before focusing on him.  Slowly, it advanced, its huge strides eating up the distance until it stood at the edge of the platform bearing the small group of people.

There was a long, uncertain moment of silence… then Asuka's voice boomed from the external speakers of Unit 02.

"Is she alive?"

Shinji nodded, his heart racing as another option presented itself.  "Yes!  But we have to get her help!"

Unit 02 stood motionless for a moment, then slowly lowered its right hand.  "Come on then," Asuka's voice said briskly.

"Help me?"

Ritsuko paled, turning from the red machine to find Shinji facing her.  "M-me…?"

The boy nodded.  "Please… I can't carry her…"

"But I-"

Shinji cut her off before she could say another word. "PLEASE Doctor Akagi…"

Taking a breath to steady herself, Ritsuko nodded.  –Guess this is what they call atonement,- she thought, blushing brightly as she hurried to Shinji's side and slipped her arms under Maya's shoulders and knees.

"Don't be a fool," Gendou hissed suddenly.  "She'll be dead before you can reach the surface – and I'm sure SEELE will be deploying the EVA series… I doubt you can fight nine Units, Miss Souryu, even you are not THAT good…"

Shinji opened his mouth to reply that they would take their chances, but Rei spoke before he could.

"I will take care of that aspect," she promised calmly, "All will be well."

There was silence as Shinji and Ritsuko carefully lifted Maya into Unit 02's outstretched palm, trusting that Rei – somehow – would fulfill her promise.  Once Maya was as secure as they could make her, Shinji jumped back down.

"What are you doing?" Misato's voice called, sounding agitated, "Shinji – we have to GO!"

Shinji offered no reply, slowly walking over to wear his father lay and reaching down with one hand.  "Come with us?" he asked uncertainly.  "Father… please come with us?"

Gendou looked up into his son's face for a moment before averting his eyes.  "You're too much like your mother… too soft… too kind… too weak…"

Shinji pulled his hand back and straightened, sighing deeply.  "Goodbye, father," he whispered brokenly.

"Goodbye, Shinji."

A moment later, he was racing back to Unit 02, scrambling quickly up into its palm and sitting next to Maya, lacing his hand with hers.  "Ayanami," he called, "Rei… come on."

Rei glanced up at Lillith's immense form, tilting her head to the side before replying, "I will meet you on the surface, Ikari… please leave now before Miss Ibuki dies."

"Can't argue with that logic," Asuka's voice quipped, "Unit 02 lift off!"

Shinji held Maya tightly as Unit 02 raised its hand.  The last he saw of his father, he was staring in open shock at Rei… and Shinji could not blame him, as Rei was slowly rising into the air, her pale body seeming to glow in the soft light of Terminal Dogma's indirect lighting.

"Thank you, Rei," he whispered, feeling somehow that the girl was about to embark on a dangerous enterprise, "and if it means anything to you now… I do love you… I loved you from the moment I saw you smile."  He tightened his grip on Maya's hand, thankful that Rei could not hear him.  "I just… love her more…"

At his side, Ritsuko spoke.  "Whoever said you were weak didn't know you, Shinji," she whispered, her voice full of quiet admiration, "I'm sorry about Ma-"

"Don't," Shinji cut in sharply, shaking his head slowly, "believe it or not… I know exactly how you felt."  He stroked Maya's hand tenderly.  "I know what it's like to be pushed away by the only person you want to be close to."

Ritsuko nodded, looking up at Unit 02's face and wondering what her punishment would be.  –Whatever it is,- she thought, trying to be brave, -I will accept it without question.  I've done… too much harm not to face judgment…-

As Unit 02 wheeled around and started towards the exit, Rei smiled softly, closing her eyes and stretching her senses, seeking the nine presences she could feel circling above.  "Thank you, Shinji," she whispered, her lips curling down as her mind contacted the rudimentary, feral intellects of the EVA series, "I love you too…"

With a deep sigh, she focused her attention inward, calling on the power of one who would destroy all man.

_You dare?_ an amused voice echoed in her mind.

_I am the Mother of All Things,_ she thought, _and though you may not accept it now, we are now one, Adam._

The first angel – his voice sounding much like Kaworu Nagisa's – replied, _Very well, Mother… it is going to be an interesting existence…_

Rei opened her eyes as the voice faded from her mind.  "Yes," she whispered sadly, "it is."

Utilizing the strength of Adam, she reached out, easily ensnaring the wills of the Evangelions and commanding them to self-destruct, confident that the ensuing chaos would allow the one she cared most for to escape.  Slowly returning to the ground, she looked to the Commander.

"I am sorry," she whispered, "I know that you wished to be back with HER, but some things were more impor… tant…"  She trailed off.

Gendou was laying still, his free hand no longer clutching his injured wrist.  A soft smile was on his face, and for the first time that she could recall, he looked at peace.

"Perhaps you are with her now…" she whispered softly.  "Goodbye, Gendou Ikari…"

Silently, she turned and strode from Terminal Dogma, losing herself in the confusion and bustle within NERV in the blink of an eye.

**

Maya groaned as she came slowly to consciousness.  She tried to put her hand on her chest, to see if she was still bleeding, but it was retrained.

"You're awake…"

She slowly opened her eyes, blinking as she found Shinji sitting next to the bed she was in, the tension in his frame hinting that he was barely containing the urge to throw his arms around her.  "Hey," she rasped tiredly, "guess we made it… huh…"

Shinji nodded, biting his lip.  "It was close," he whispered, "I wasn't sure you were going to stay with me…"

"I've come this far," Maya managed, her throat feeling as if it had not been used in ages.  "You can't get rid of me that easily, you know…"

Shinji laughed weakly, squeezing her hand and averting his eyes from her.

Maya frowned.  "You look… different…" she mused, her brow clearing as she smiled, "you're cuter than last time I saw you."

"You don't need to flatter me," Shinji blushed, "I'm not worth it…"

"Yes you are," Maya smiled warmly. "How did we get out, anyway?"

"I'll let Asuka tell you," Shinji said with a ghost of a grin, "But I'll warn you – it involves misuse of NERV equipment, crushed tanks, screaming JSSDF troops, heavy weapons fire, and a lot of melting Bakelite – oh, and some serious, crane and cutting-torch-related collateral damage in the EVA cages."

"Sounds like a party to me," Maya laughed. They were quiet for a few moments, she sighed.  "So how long am I stuck here?"

Shinji looked very awkward.  "Couple days," he muttered, his eyes flitting to her face, then back away, as if he longed to drink in the sight of her, but was afraid that if he did, she might leave him again.

"I doubt it," the woman said seriously, putting her free hand on her chest.  "They don't just give you a Band-Aid for a gunshot wound."  She frowned as Shinji looked more awkward than ever.  "Shouldn't I have… bandages…?"

Slowly, Shinji reached out and took her hand, leading it under her hospital gown and pressing it against her skin.  "I think that's what you're looking for," he whispered, his voice thick and emotional.

Maya's mind could not quite grasp what she was feeling.  It almost seemed like her fingers were running over old scar tissue – but that was impossible.  "What… happened…?" she breathed.  She looked up at Shinji, studying his face closely.  "Shinji, what happened to me?"

Shinji looked miserable.  "I thought you had left me," he said brokenly, "When… when Doctor Akagi shot you, I thought you were gone…"

"What happened to me?" Maya demanded, her tone taking on a desperate edge.  "Shinji… how long… how long have I…?"

The young man forced himself to meet her eyes.  "You…" he swallowed, looking away once more.  

Her stomach filling with ice, Maya whispered, "Please tell me…?"  She closed her eyes, a sense of unreality washing over her as Shinji replied.

"Eighteen months…"

"No…" she gasped, trying to sit up.

"Easy…" Shinji said quickly, putting his hands on her shoulders and keeping her in place.  "Easy…"

Her eyes began to tear, and she blinked, trying to keep his face in sight.  "Did you…" she could not even ask the question – she knew the answer.

'Did you wait for me, Shinji?  Did you wait over a year while I slept, never knowing if I would wake?  Did you stay by my side, swearing off all other women until you knew for sure I wouldn't come back to you?  Did you, Shinji?'

The answer, of course, would be no.

"Don't cry," Shinji said softly, putting his hand on hers.  "I need to call Misato… she'll want to know that you're awake."

"Do you still… live with her?" Maya asked awkwardly.

"Nah," Shinji shrugged, picking up the hospital room's phone, "I got a place with Asuka."

"Oh…"

She stared up at the ceiling as Shinji dialed the phone, feeling as if she was having an incredibly vivid, very bad dream.  –With Asuka,- she thought dizzily, wondering if it would have been better to sleep for another year and a half, -of course it would be Asuka…-  She listened as Shinji gave his guardian the news, repeating several times that he was not kidding before assuring her that he would be there when she came to visit.

"Well she's pretty happy," Shinji chuckled as he set the phone down, his hand shaking slightly and making the plastic click together.  "I am too, Maya… thank you for coming back to us…"

-US!?- Maya felt like screaming.  –It wasn't my fault!  Why do I have to lose him like this?  At least with Rei she went straight for it… but this…-

"The doctors said you might be hungry," Shinji said, fidgeting in his seat a bit, "are you?"

"No," Maya whispered through numb lips, "I'm just… tired – I think I should sleep for a while."

"You just woke up," Shinji pointed out weakly, "I thought maybe… maybe we could talk about-"

"I don't feel like talking," Maya cut in quietly, "could you tell the nurse I don't want any visitors when you leave?"

Shinji looked ill.  "I umm…" he shifted topics suddenly, "I've been going to your house every Saturday and making sure it's clean and stuff, and Misato's been making sure all the utilities are kept current…"

"How thoughtful of you," Maya whispered, knowing she had no right to be mad at the young man.

-If it was him, would I have waited?- she thought sadly.

There was a long, painful silence, broken when Shinji's chair scraped backwards.  "Well I guess I'll just… let you sleep," he said uncertainly, "I'll come back when you're feeling-"

"You don't need to."

Shinji looked as if he had been punched, but Maya pressed on, too hurt to think about her words.

"You don't need to waste your time coming here, Shinji, I wouldn't want to inconvenience you."

"Maya I'm sorry," Shinji blurted, "I'm so sorry…"

"You should be," Maya whispered coldly.

"I tried…" Shinji took a deep breath, his shoulders slumping as he muttered, "I tried to get between you and Rei… I tried so hard, Maya – you have to believe me…"

Maya frowned, the sharp pain of loss fueling her next comment.

"Well I'm sure not going to get between you and Asuka – so I hope you two are very, very happy, Shinji.  Goodbye."

The look on Shinji's face was satisfying in its shock.  He looked to Maya as if he had just been told that she was his mother.  –I would have waited,- she told herself bitterly, -I would have!-

"S-so you don't want to be with me anymore…"

She blinked.  "What are you talking about?" she asked uneasily, "You-"

"I understand," Shinji cut in brokenly, "I guess… I just hoped that you would know that I tried my best."  He looked up at the ceiling, his eyes growing hazy.  "It's been like hell for the past year and a half… the trials… the inquiries… the media… the arrests – but I kept telling myself, 'keep it together… just hold on, she'll come back – she will!'"  He sighed deeply.   "I guess I can finally get out of Asuka's hair, then… move back to NeoOkinawa… stop driving her crazy."  He laughed suddenly, but it was too high and jagged – too bitter.  "She'll be glad to have her place to herself… she said all my moping is too distracting – guess she can finish her doctorate in peace and quiet now."

He shrugged awkwardly, taking a few faltering backward steps and fumbling for the doorknob.

"I hope you can forgive me someday," he told her, finally getting the door open, "I'm glad you're back… goodbye…"

"Wait!!"

Shinji shook his head, stepping out of the room.  "Sorry…" he managed, his vision blurring with tears, "I'm sorry…"

He had only taken two steps when he felt something hard and unyielding blocking his path.

"Stop."

"A-Ayanami?" Shinji hiccupped, "What-"

"Stop," the blue-haired girl repeated softly.

"Sh-she hates me," Shinji blurted, staring down at the pale hand pressed against his chest, "Ayanami, I… she hates me!!"

Rei frowned faintly.  "You know that I care for you," she said flatly, "so you know that what I am going to say is going to cause me pain."  She averted her eyes.  "You are… an idiot."

"What?!?" Shinji's jaw dropped open.

"Eighteen months," the girl whispered, "you have waited for eighteen months, only to surrender after one misunderstanding and a few harsh words."  She shook her head, lowering her hand to her side and turning away.  "You… disappoint me, Shinji…"

It was like being slapped in the face.  Rei Ayanami was disappointed in HIM.

"What can I do?" Shinji cried desperately, grabbing her by the arm as she started to walk away, "Rei… what am I supposed to do? I let her get SHOT!  I wasn't able to save her, Rei!  And she thinks… she thinks Asuka and me…"

"I am just as much responsible for her injuries as you," Rei said softly, pulling her arm free and glancing back over her shoulder, "and I am not responsible.  Do what you feel you must, Shinji… goodbye."

Shinji was on the verge of calling out again when he heard a clattering sound behind him.  He turned, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.  "MAYA!!"

The woman was leaning on her doorframe, her legs shaking under her as she panted for breath.  A tray of miscellaneous medical equipment was lying on the floor behind her, apparently knocked over when she got to her feet.   "Wait…" she managed, "Shinji…"

"You should be in bed," Shinji said worriedly, hurrying to her side and putting an arm around her waist, "come on…"

"N-no…" Maya shook her head, "don't… want to…"  She took a deep breath.  "Don't leave me," she said quickly, putting her arms awkwardly around his neck, "forget what I said – just forget it all!  I don't want to let you go… I WON'T let you go, Shinji, I love you, I need you, I won't give up on-" 

Her rambling was cut short as Shinji turned to face her, pressing his lips carefully against hers. He held her tight, his arms easily circling her thin body as he kissed her.  –Eighteen months,- she thought wonderingly, -He really waited for me… and I almost threw it all away.  Thank you, Rei…-

As the kiss broke, she looked around, wanting to thank the First Child out loud… but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Let's get you back in bed," Shinji said quietly, quickly wiping his eyes, "you have to get better quick so you can come home to me…"

Maya nodded, scanning the crowded hospital corridor for some sign of the blue-haired girl.  "Yeah," she nodded, frowning slightly.  –Where did she go??-

Finding nothing, she allowed herself to be led into the room, quickly forgetting everything but the man she loved.

Epilogue:

"Did you find what you were looking for in there?"

Rei continued looking over the hospital roof's railing, her hair dancing in the light breeze.  "Partially," she replied.

"What more could you have hoped to gain?" the other person asked curiously.

Rei shrugged.  "Perhaps I was hoping he would still choose me."

"But you made sure they would stay together!"

The blue-haired girl shrugged, squinting at a couple exiting the hospital's main entrance.  "It would have been wrong… he would not have been happy…"

"He said he loved you…" the other person whispered.

"There are different kinds of love," Rei said softly, watching the two people wave to the driver of a waiting blue car.  "And love can be stronger on one side than the other – you, of all people… should know that."

"Touché…"

Rei turned away from the edge, glancing at her companion.  "And what of you?" she asked quietly, "Now that Lieutenant Ibuki is awake and you have no ties to bind you here… where will you go?"

The other shrugged.  "I have ties here," came the slightly uneven reply, "Misato and Shinji have both asked me to stay…"

"Amazing."

"Hmm?"

Rei looked back over the railing.  "The human capacity for forgiveness and love never fails to amaze me."

The other woman stepped closer to the First Child, her green eyes glittering in the sun.  "Would it mean anything to you if I told you I had forgiven you?"

The blue-haired girl considered this for a moment as the two small forms below slipped into the car, the shorter of the two helping the taller into the back seat.  "There was nothing to forgive," she said finally, "I have never done you harm… however – it does please me for some reason."

"The human spirit at work again," Ritsuko muttered, smiling ironically.

Rei shook her head slowly.  "I am not human."

The blonde rested her arms on the railing and looked down at the blue car.  "You're close enough that no one notices," she said lightly, "but since you seem hell-bent on playing the outsider, where will YOU go?"

Watching the car pull away from the curb, Rei replied, "I believe I will travel for a while, to see what the world has to offer, then… I am not sure.  I do not have a place among you, Doctor Akagi – I am more like a god than a person."

"Don't be so melodramatic," Ritsuko chided, "you may have the powers of Adam and Lillith at your command… but you're still just a child…"

"I never thought I would have a conversation like this with you…" Rei whispered, looking up at the woman as the car lost itself in the mid-afternoon traffic.

 "People change I guess," Ritsuko replied calmly, "so, I was thinking…"

"Yes?"

Ritsuko took a deep breath.  "Misato has asked me to move a little closer and spend more time with her and the Children, but I don't think I'm quite ready to face them on a daily basis, so I was wondering… if you wouldn't mind some company on your travels?"

Rei blinked.  "Why?" she asked flatly.

"Must be the scientist in me," Ritsuko winked, "not everyone gets to travel with the Mother of All Things and the first angel, right?"

"You are a strange woman," Rei noted calmly, "but if that is what you wish, I would not mind the company, I suppose."

"How noble of you," Ritsuko said dryly.

"Did you expect enthusiasm?" the First asked with a trace of amusement in her voice.  "It has been less than two years since you tried to kill me last, Doctor."

The two fell into silence for a moment, then Ritsuko whispered, "I've apologized for behavior so many times that I'm sure you're tired of hearing it, so I won't waste your time with it again… but I AM serious about coming with you."

"Then… let us go," Rei said softly.

Not another word was spoken between them, though before they left the roof, the two women took one last look over the railing, trying to spot Misato's blue Alpine in the slow-moving traffic… but like its passengers, the car had found a way to move on, and was well out of sight.

Glancing at one another, they shrugged, neither willing to break the silence as they headed for the exit, their minds offering one last, unspoken prayer for the young couple that had taken every chance possible… and still, somehow, managed to make it through the fire together.

The End

Author's Notes: after two years… I'm done.  ^_^  I don't know what else to note here, really, other than saying the original ending was going to have instrumentality and marriage and kids and blah blah blah… but that all seemed so clichlame. :P  Anyway, I hope you liked it as it came out, and thanks for sticking with me!  ^_^

Pre-read was by Ryoma and LeperMessiah, so thanks to both – especially Leper, who saved 7 pages of text from the dead space of drive failure.  You rox. :P

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


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